Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] Speaker A: Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Royalty Room. Today is very important to me because we have a return repeat guest for the first and only time. We got the ballet B girl my in the building.
[00:00:17] Speaker B: Hey.
[00:00:19] Speaker A: Hi.
[00:00:19] Speaker B: Hi.
[00:00:21] Speaker A: Welcome back.
[00:00:22] Speaker B: Thank you. Thanks for having me.
[00:00:24] Speaker A: Thanks for coming. I feel. Feel like we could talk about anything for hours. And for those who don't know, this is really my sister. Like, we grew up together because we have the same mom. Like, so people. People like to get that. I don't know, Lost in translation somewhere. Like, this is my real sister.
[00:00:43] Speaker B: Right.
[00:00:44] Speaker A: And this show is about three things. We're about entertainment, we're about law, and we're about mental health. And although I am the law and the attorney, entertainment and mental health is what we're going to focus on today. And you just so happen to be a wonderful choreographer and dancer, and we haven't touched on that area of the industry in my show at all ever.
And so I feel like I've been wanting to have an episode about the dance industry because dancers are probably arguably the most important piece of a performance, a show, and art. So I kind of do want to focus on that.
But we also have my baby niece that was just born.
[00:01:36] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:01:37] Speaker A: So the transition and entertainment of into motherhood. Yeah, I kind of want to focus on that as well. So where do you want to start? I'll let you pick.
[00:01:48] Speaker B: Well, I just recently had a baby girl. Her name is Christian with the K.
And she's here with us on set, which I think is so cool.
[00:01:57] Speaker A: But y'all can't see her because we're not gonna have another Halo moment. Okay.
[00:02:01] Speaker B: Yeah, we just decided that we'll let her decide if she wants to be on camera when that's good, when the time comes. You know what I mean?
But, yeah, I just had her in July, so I'm really new to motherhood, and it's been an amazing journey. It's been so much fun. It's been really stressful. It's been tiring. It's been all the things. And so I'm looking forward to talking about the transition from what I was pursuing to where I am now, and the toll that that transition and being a mother has taken on my mental health. I think it aligns with what you do on this show.
[00:02:37] Speaker A: Okay, so dancers, again, arguably the most important piece of a performance. And nobody likes to group dancers in with athletes, but you're a professional athlete.
[00:02:53] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:02:53] Speaker A: And I don't know where I got this because I've known this for a while, but dance is one of the toughest sports on your body. Yeah, that exists.
[00:03:03] Speaker B: Right.
[00:03:04] Speaker A: So with that being said, how long have you been doing this? Like, give us all the tea because you're not the average booty popping dancer on tour.
[00:03:14] Speaker B: Yeah. So I started dancing at the age of three and I began dancing because I had juvenile arthritis in my ankles. And I woke up in the middle of the night and I was screaming and we went to the hospital and there is not really any medication that they was, were able to give me at the time. And they said that for physical therapy they should put me in ballet because it's something that stretches the muscles and like really works through the joints and everything. And so that's where it started. And it's interesting because I never was one of those people who grew up watching music videos and was like, I want to do that. I got into it as physical therapy and just so happened to be good at it. And then it, you know, began this almost 20 plus year journey.
[00:04:06] Speaker A: Yeah, what is it, like 23 now?
[00:04:08] Speaker B: It's, it's, it's up there. Yeah, about 23 years.
[00:04:11] Speaker A: And side note, I did not know this crying in the middle of the night story because our childhood was a little bit tumultuous. We were together for a while.
[00:04:19] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:04:20] Speaker A: And then after that we grew up as only children in two separate states. So there's a lot of like pieces like of each other's lives. Like we weren't like, oh, hey, this happened today.
[00:04:30] Speaker B: Right.
[00:04:30] Speaker A: Because I'm, you know, seven years old.
[00:04:31] Speaker B: And I mean I was a child and I had to remember this for myself when I became an adult and started pursuing a different genre of dance. Because I grew up basically doing a lot of contemporary modern in ballet work. And when I came to.
[00:04:50] Speaker A: Is that. Yes. That girl.
[00:04:51] Speaker B: Yeah. So that's where all that training comes into play.
But when I moved to la and even, even before I came to la, I started dancing at a studio when I was a teenager and they really wanted me to take over teaching hip hop there because they felt like I was able to be in a leadership position and I was good at that style just because of my personality, the spunk that I, you know, acquire. And so when I moved to Los Angeles, I really wanted to dive into the hip hop scene because I had no like real foundational training coming from Pittsburgh, aside from what I had grabbed at Millennium in my last two years of being in the state, which was wonderful. Like Shout Out, Gabe, Ash, Antoine, L.J. duncan, we, they were amazing. But I only got Just a little bit of that. And so when I came to la, I was really not good at the style, and it was really uncomfortable to watch. And so I spent the last six or so years really training that style and getting that into my body.
Yeah. Shout out my daughter.
[00:06:06] Speaker A: How did you. Why did you pick LA over, like, New York?
[00:06:10] Speaker B: So I went to go visit New York the first time with you and your dad. And then I went to New York the following summer to go to AMDA dance camp.
And then the summer after that of my senior year, I did Joffrey camp out there. And each experience, it got better with time.
But the first time I was in New York, it was a real culture shock, right? Like, we are. We always claim Pittsburgh. However, like, we are from 40 minutes south of Pittsburgh. So super cowgirl right here.
[00:06:45] Speaker A: I call. I like to call it. I like to call it country ghetto.
[00:06:50] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, we're city adjacent.
And so when I went to New York for the first time, I was like, oh, my goodness, what is that? What is the smell? I can't even. There's. I mean, I was. My. I was. I. And then everything was. Was so expensive. I just couldn't. I just. I just couldn't. And then the next time that I went for AMDA camp, it was a wonderful time. I really excelled at that program that I was at. I met a really great friend who I carried on until I came out here. Shania. Like, yeah, she was my friend for a really long time. And then the following year, I was a senior in high school. I had been to the city, and this program was less like, you have to hold hands when we go outside, because that's how AMD camp was, and I really enjoyed it.
But I am from Pennsylvania, which is near. It's cold, it snows, it's all the things. And I didn't really want to be in another place that had all of the, you know, elements.
And I just felt like New York was a little too close to home. I felt as if I went up there, it would have been like, oh, well, I only live six hours away. I'll just go home, right? Um.
[00:08:06] Speaker A: And that could be a setup.
[00:08:07] Speaker B: And in these times of going to New York, I actually. I actually came over to LA with Millennium, and when I came here, I was like, this is it. I love it. There was, like, palm trees. It was warm, people were cool. It was relaxed. It just was more my style and my speed, as far as my personality goes.
[00:08:29] Speaker A: So what is. I've heard a lot of people say, like, you go to LA in dance, you go to LA for one thing, and you go to New York for one thing. What is that, like, difference?
[00:08:38] Speaker B: So I would say you go to New York if you really want to train as far as, like, to really learn the craft. Yeah. To tr. Like to train as far as, like, the. The fundamentals of the styles, which, I mean, of course in New York they have a lot of hip hop dancing that comes from the streets. That comes from the streets. Like, their community up there is unmatched. And I just learned that with the last summer that I spent in New York as an adult. It was my first time in New York as an adult.
But LA is more for performance, more for the show.
[00:09:17] Speaker A: Yeah. You know what I mean?
[00:09:18] Speaker B: So I would say you go to New York to kind of.
To really train, really get your feet wet. And over here is to polish and to perform form. Okay. Which is. This is all, like, could be argued.
I don't want to offend anybody.
Allegedly.
[00:09:33] Speaker A: I don't think we've said anything offensive yet.
[00:09:35] Speaker B: Allegedly.
[00:09:36] Speaker A: But so with all of that being said, you've done a lot in your career. Your resume speaks for itself.
How in being a professional athlete for your career, how do you go from. From being so active and such an athletic person to sitting down for nine months to grow my favorite human.
[00:10:03] Speaker B: Yeah. This is a big one. I appreciate the comment of you saying, like, giving me my flowers as far as the things that I've done, however, when I look at it, I don't feel as if I've done everything that I wanted to do. Girl.
[00:10:20] Speaker A: I feel this. Listen, you know what I mean? This month makes my fifth year in a anniversary as an attorney.
[00:10:25] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:10:26] Speaker A: And I feel like I just graduated yesterday because until you hit 10 years as an attorney, nobody's putting respect on your name. Yeah, I get it. I get it. But you have to, like. And that's a thing that we do.
[00:10:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:10:40] Speaker A: You have to acknowledge how far you've come and all of the accomplishments you've already checked off the boxes.
[00:10:47] Speaker B: Right.
[00:10:47] Speaker A: Because if you don't, you can get lost.
[00:10:49] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree. There definitely is a 1% in my industry that is constantly booking, constantly on tour. And so I definitely want to just give them. Give them that, because it's true. And that's what I was striving for.
And so I got myself into a program called Troop Shout Out Antoine Troup.
And he was what I looked at it as an accelerated path to making those connections and polishing myself to get to big stage. And then I found out that I was pregnant.
[00:11:26] Speaker A: And you just wake up one day.
[00:11:28] Speaker B: And I was just like. So I did his camp in December and it was his off season camp, which I'm hoping to get back into this year. So they did off season camp. And just during that time, I remember just feeling physically like they're, there's something up here.
And right after the program finished, I woke up one day and I remember going out to eat with somebody, my mentor. And I walked into the restaurant, I couldn't. I couldn't stand it. And I was like, oh, no.
And so that very day I was there, I finished the meeting with my mentor, didn't have anything to eat, and he was like, something's wrong with you. And I was like, yeah, I. I think so too. And so I went and immediately got a test and I took the test and I found out that I was pregnant.
And so you can imagine the disappointment and the devastation that was in my heart because I felt so close to something.
[00:12:28] Speaker A: You're about to go on tour.
[00:12:29] Speaker B: I felt so close to. I don't know necessarily if I was going to go on tour. Just as much as I was ready to get that audition and eat it up, I was ready to go to that audition and show out what all the skills that I've acquired in the past six months.
And so it was really hard for me to accept where I was. But then this is a good transition into where my faith lies.
And I am, love, Jesus. I obviously name my daughter Christian because we're Christian.
Yes. That's my daughter.
[00:13:08] Speaker A: Shout out kt. Oh, my God.
[00:13:09] Speaker B: Oh, gosh.
This is the picture. And of course you see the cross around my neck.
And I really hold my faith so close to me. And there was no way that I was going to get through this without my steadfast relationship with Christ. And in this process, I really realized that I was slave to my sport. And there was a lot of idolatry there because that was the rock. Like, dance was my foundation, the industry and being on big stage was the stand for me. And that is that I had to have. I had to take a. I had to let go of that. You know what I mean? And another thing.
[00:13:54] Speaker A: Let go and let God.
[00:13:55] Speaker B: Yeah, I had to let go and let God. And another thing just to highlight on Thanksgiving, which is right around the corner, I will be 365 days, one year, clean, completely clean. So.
[00:14:08] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:14:09] Speaker B: So, yeah, even if I would have gotten to book this job and go on a tour or Just book a show. Like, aside from a tour, just book a show or whatever with, like, a major artist. A lot of things come with that. Like, you know, after you want to go out and you want to. You want to party, you want to have drinks. And I was way too fragile to not possibly fall back into.
Sorry. Fall back into my old ways of doing drugs and abusing alcohol.
So this just goes to say that my daughter saved my life and is what needed to happen for me and what was next for me, you know, because at this point, when you're so deep into the industry, you think that, like, if. If you don't achieve this, then you're not good at anything. You're not good enough. But that's. That's not the truth. You know what I mean? My identity lies in Christ, not in being a dancer, you know, not even being a mom. You know what I mean? My identity doesn't lay there. My identity lies in my relationship with God. So. Yeah.
[00:15:20] Speaker A: That's crazy.
[00:15:20] Speaker B: Yes. Sitting down for nine months, to answer your question, sum it up. Sitting down for nine months was really hard for me, and I cried a lot. And it was devastating for. For a point in time. But I realized that the work that was doing inside of me was better for the longevity of my life, in my career.
[00:15:41] Speaker A: So in being. I don't really know, I'm the entertainment space. Like, people think sports and entertainment is the same thing. It's really not.
[00:15:49] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:50] Speaker A: Like, the. I don't know anything about sports. I don't know anything about athletes. I'm not athletic. I don't do these things. Like, that is all you. I used to. When I was. When we were growing up, I used to make fun of myself. And we have this cousin, and so it was just the trio of us. And I used to say, my sister dances, my cousin sings, and I just read books. And to this day, that is still true.
[00:16:12] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:16:12] Speaker A: You know, but, like, I don't know anything about what you do.
[00:16:16] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:16:16] Speaker A: Because I can't do it myself. So, like, I see other people on this journey to motherhood, and, like, yeah, they work. They work at a desk, they work, you know, at a factory. You know, they do these. They can find, and it's just completely different. So what does that look like for you going forward? Because I remember at one point we had a conversation where you, like, I don't know other people who have went through this to advise me.
[00:16:41] Speaker B: Yeah. So a lot of people who are professional dancers in the industry, they go on to do, like, brand work. Like, I know one girl, she danced in all the big things. She did the Super bowl, she's done Victoria, the Victoria's Secret fashion show. She's done all these things. And then she moved on to. Now she styles for Nike.
Yeah. And then I know other people who transition into being a choreographer or working close with the artist, becoming their assistant and doing all these types of things, which I think is great. I think for me, the industry is not necessarily the place that I'm able to be in right now for how fragile I am in my sobriety journey. But I think that moving forward. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that moving forward, I still, I still am going to want to teach. I think that that's always been my calling. Like, you know how I had said before, I never grew up, like, wanting to be in these music videos and thinking about big stage or anything like that. That was never the goal. I just assumed that I was going to come to la, gather all that I could maybe go back to Pennsylvania and open up a studio. I know that I don't want to open up a studio.
[00:17:52] Speaker A: Hey, I said I never wanted to have my own law firm.
[00:17:55] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't. I don't want to open up a studio, I would say, because I've watched a lot of people do that. And when you're in the position of owning a studio kind of takes away from what you really actually want to do, which is put on yet put on, you know, shows and, and teach and make productions. But when you own the studio, you have to worry about the admin. Yeah, the admin work of it, you know, and then you have people's parents calling you, like, why isn't my kid in the front, like, all that? I'm. No, I just want to show up, do what I'm. I'm hired to do, and then let the people who own the studio take care of the rest of the things. But I'm also looking forward to, aside from even teaching at a studio, doing a dance team at, like the high schools.
So there's so many different ways.
[00:18:46] Speaker A: Are there any teachers in our family? Because why do we both want to be teachers?
[00:18:49] Speaker B: I don't know. That's weird. I think that that could just be a calling that we have on. I think. I think mainly because we didn't really have anybody to teach us things. I think we be who you needed.
[00:19:01] Speaker A: When you were growing up.
[00:19:02] Speaker B: I think that we've had a lot of examples of what not to do.
[00:19:05] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:06] Speaker B: To where. And we've come out to be well rounded humans to be.
[00:19:11] Speaker A: Praise God.
[00:19:12] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And definitely want to go out and share testimony in that way and be like nurturing here. This is how you do this. Oh, you don't know how. I'll show you how. Like, you know what I mean? Because that's what we didn't really have. So I could see, I could see that for sure.
[00:19:31] Speaker A: I also, we both, actually the three of us all got baptized within the last, what, year and a half too, which is really cool.
[00:19:40] Speaker B: Well, what we realized in, in the Christian faith, because I was baptized Catholic as a kid and so was her dad. Shout out. Her dad. J.C. j. We were all baptized and so we figured that that's what we were going to do for Christian. But in the Christian faith, baptisms isn't necessarily something that you do until you choose. So what we did was dedicate her to the Lord. Like in the Old Testament, she would be our burnt offering. But obviously, obviously we live in the world that we do. So we just dedicated her to Christ and it's our job now to pray over her, to teach her the word, you know, and it goes outside of like on Sundays, like when she gets to the point where she gets to go to. What is that place? That belt, like the kids zone.
[00:20:31] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
[00:20:31] Speaker B: You know, like kids church. Yeah. Like on, even on the outside of that. It's like our responsibility to really use the resources that we have and the knowledge that we have to tell her about Christ. And then I'm hoping that when she's 7, 8, 9 years old and has the consciousness of a kid that she will decide that she wants to get baptized. So then we'll do it all again.
[00:20:52] Speaker A: Yeah. I've seen, I've seen when they do the baptisms at Oasis, how they do it above the stage. Yeah. That is so beautiful to me. That.
[00:20:59] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:21:00] Speaker A: Space.
[00:21:01] Speaker B: I got baptized in there before.
[00:21:02] Speaker A: Yeah. So I saw the last time I went, I ran into one of my lawyer bay friends.
[00:21:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:07] Speaker A: And she was getting baptized. So I stuck around for it. And there were like kids like maybe 8, 9, 10 that were choosing to get baptized.
[00:21:14] Speaker B: Yeah. Because in, because it is a choice. Do you want to give your life? Do you want to accept Jesus as your Lord and savior? You know what I mean? And so I want her to make that choice.
[00:21:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Because being baptized Catholic, I never, never practiced Catholicism ever. Like, I went to church with you guys.
[00:21:34] Speaker B: Very performative.
[00:21:35] Speaker A: Maybe like two or three times. And I was so confused. I was so uncomfortable. And that's the thing, like when people Say, oh, I don't like church. I don't want to go because I'm uncomfortable. I get that.
[00:21:45] Speaker B: Right.
[00:21:45] Speaker A: But it's not all church, right? It's not every room. Like, you have to find a place that makes you want to listen. It's not about the building, it's not about the pastor. It's not about the place. It's about what you're comfortable with so you can receive.
[00:22:03] Speaker B: Yeah. And I would like to speak to that. I think that a lot. A long time I was. I had this in my head that I was. I came to LA to dance or that I was running away from home, because that's a big part of it too.
But in the last year, more in the last couple of months, I've realized that I came here to build a stronger relationship with Jesus. Like, my church called you here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and that, and I knew that from way back because I've been.
[00:22:38] Speaker A: And I follow Joe Ass. So I was following him too.
[00:22:41] Speaker B: I've been Christian for, for about.
I would say about 10 years now, like in the choice that I had made. And I, When I was coming over here, when. I'm telling you, he did everything that he could to make sure that this went through. Because before I came, I mean, I was wrapped up in drugs. I was wrapped up in nasty boys.
[00:23:04] Speaker A: Wait, can we, can we, can we talk about everything you had to go through to get on that plane that day?
[00:23:09] Speaker B: Helen High water.
[00:23:10] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh, I will never forget this.
[00:23:14] Speaker B: Yeah, my things were stolen.
[00:23:17] Speaker A: All of her stuff, everything she ever owned was thrown into a river. A river thrown into a river. Phone, her id, her clothes, everything she even owned. And the flight was what, couple hours later?
[00:23:29] Speaker B: So, yeah, the flight. And here's the thing. I was supposed to leave the day before and I went to the wrong airport. Cried the sweet lady. The sweet, beautiful lady. She gave me a ticket for the next. The following day, no charge. And so I left. And I was in abusive relationship at the time.
Verbally, I wouldn't say this person was, you know, but not physically, but a verbally abusive relationship with a, with a narcissist. And since I had one more day, I was like, I'm going to go spend it with my family. Well, he wasn't really happy about that. And so I was only supposed to leave for a little bit. And while I was gone, he threw all my stuff away, wouldn't answer the phones. There was a lot of things that happened, mind you, the whole summer I was. He was like so what are you going to do over there? Oh, you ain't making it over there. You ain't going to do that. Blah, blah, blah.
[00:24:17] Speaker A: And y'all better never let know somebody's raggedy ass son. Talk you out of your dreams and your goals.
[00:24:24] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:24:24] Speaker A: Okay. I made her get on the plane with nothing but a purse.
[00:24:29] Speaker B: No. Yeah. Well, I had called my sister. I was like, so what should I do? You know what I mean? And she's like, get on. I was like, okay. We. We. Mind you, we made many attempts to go collect the items, and it was just. I had to take it to Facebook. Not my proudest moment, but I had to take it to Facebook. Okay.
[00:24:44] Speaker A: You had a Halle Bailey moment. It's completely fine.
It's. We've all been.
[00:24:48] Speaker B: But aside from that, I really lost the support of my family at the time because I had been acting so crazy.
[00:24:55] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:24:56] Speaker B: Beforehand.
And so it was really just me and the Lord and I made it over here. Mind you, I didn't know anything about the school. I just know that I was going. I had the $900 to pay my rent. I had the 994. I've been paying almost a thousand dollars to live here since 2017, and my rent has only gone up. So my whole adult life, I have paid. I mean, I couldn't even imagine to calculate how much.
[00:25:26] Speaker A: I don't think about it. I calculated my next year of rent to just get it out the way. And that really, like, hurt my soul.
[00:25:32] Speaker B: Yeah. And so. But all is not for the week. All this day. Because maybe I'll have to start a pod and get deep into these things, but all do it. All this to say, like, where there was a will, there was a way. And the way was made for me. And I've maintained a lifestyle here for over seven years. And I've seen a lot of people come and go because it's not what God has for them. This is what God has for me. And it's not the industry stuff, right? No, no, no, no. It was my relationship with him. And then that would lead me into my next point of, like, pursuing Bible College 2025.
[00:26:05] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:26:06] Speaker B: Because, you know, I'm really passionate about the Word and spreading the gospel. And it took a lot of dismantling throughout this past year to get to the point of where we are now.
[00:26:17] Speaker A: Right. I also. I had a. Some statistics I wanted to give to you, period. Now that you're postpartum school me. That's what I do.
[00:26:27] Speaker B: Educate me.
[00:26:28] Speaker A: So in being that a Lot of people may be experiencing this and they don't have anybody in their sport or their trade that have gone through motherhood to talk to.
I just want you to know that you are not going to be your normal self for a minimum of six to eight weeks.
[00:26:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:26:51] Speaker A: That means your body, that means your brain, that means your thought process, that means your energy. So for literally a period of six to eight weeks. That's the minimum.
[00:27:01] Speaker B: Yeah. Right.
[00:27:02] Speaker A: It could be longer. It could be, you know, with the.
[00:27:05] Speaker B: Dinner plate size womb, the wound that you have inside.
[00:27:08] Speaker A: Exactly. So a lot of people who don't have the opportunity to not go back to work two weeks after they give birth. You know, I feel like that's like something that our country really fails on because I don't want to get out of bed and do things now.
[00:27:27] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:27:28] Speaker A: Like, I'm sorry, I don't. And two months after birth, like, that's the minimum. Yeah, that's the minimum. You just got there.
[00:27:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:27:37] Speaker A: And so the other 1 was 41 countries offer paid maternity leave. Not.
The only country among 41 nations that does not mandate maternity leave or parents is America.
[00:27:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:01] Speaker A: All 54 countries in Africa guarantee maternity leave, but 62% of countries provide at least 14 weeks.
[00:28:14] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:15] Speaker A: 14 weeks. Imagine what life would be like if you didn't have to worry for 14 weeks right after birth.
[00:28:23] Speaker B: Right. It's, it's ridiculous. And paid. Right. And a lot of those people don't even consider the toll that breastfeeding takes as well.
[00:28:34] Speaker A: And that can be.
[00:28:35] Speaker B: And there's no mom shame because even if you're feeding your baby from a bottle, it's still exhausting. But, but breastfeeding really takes a lot out of you. And I seen somebody say one time, like, if all you were able to do was feed your baby today, then you've done more than enough.
[00:28:52] Speaker A: Right.
[00:28:52] Speaker B: Because of. You know what I mean? It really, it really is exhausting.
[00:28:55] Speaker A: That's good.
[00:28:56] Speaker B: Yeah, it's, it's, it's crazy. And there should be more support. I know in the Ukraine, like you get sent with a, a box of like, like a, from the government of like Pampers wipes, like toys, like your first, like the, the little grooming kits. Yeah. Like, they give you that when you.
[00:29:16] Speaker A: I was surprised the hospital lets you leave with a blanket and a breast pump. I was shocked. Wow. They're nice here.
[00:29:23] Speaker B: Right?
[00:29:25] Speaker A: But you know, everybody, at the end of the day, the moral of the story is being a mom is the toughest and most rewarding and the hardest job that there ever could be.
And I don't think that we talk about it enough.
[00:29:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:29:42] Speaker A: Especially in today's society.
[00:29:45] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:29:47] Speaker A: And all, like, the hate and the. The disdain and the control over women, like, it's really just tough. And I haven't been there to experience it yet, but I. I'm watching it, and I've taken care of other people's kids. You know what I mean? It's not a joke. And especially in the entertainment industry, people make it look so, like, easy and cute online, but it's not always rainbows and butterflies. So it's okay. You just have to give yourself grace.
[00:30:11] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:30:11] Speaker A: Have to give yourself grace and find stability in your faith.
[00:30:16] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. And I would say, just in closing, like, it's been hard. The hardest part of my journey so far is being okay with.
And I say this, like, with Eric was just being a mom because I have been on a hustle and a grind to maintain and give myself stability in living here. But now having to sit down as such an independent person, having to sit down and let other people help me and other people take care of me while I'm. While we're getting back on our feet has been such a struggle for me. And I've been trying to find my peace in where I'm at right now, because I know that these are days that I'm not going to get back. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I want to be. I want to go out and get a job so bad and get back to work and go back to dance class and do all of these things.
But I also just want to focus on, you know, her being this little. And sucking up every moment that we have together. And so I'm really just trying to find my. My peace in where I am right now. And that's something that I fight to get through every day, especially, because it really is. We do have amazing, amazing friends and amazing family to help us out. But at the end of the day, it really just is me and her dad, like, I would say 90.
[00:31:44] Speaker A: And that's a blessing.
[00:31:45] Speaker B: 95. Yeah. I have her dad 95% of the time.
And so I'm trying not to jump the gun and get back into things because I know. I was just asked, so what about your career? Like, I'm, Like, I'm just trying to focus on my daughter.
[00:32:00] Speaker A: Right.
[00:32:00] Speaker B: You know what I mean? And finding the peace in that, because.
[00:32:03] Speaker A: And honestly, like, busybody, I don't think I even told you this, and I. You said you have a question for me. That you wanted to ask, so we can do that too. But I never took into account how crazy it is to be completely on your own. Like, whenever we were going through the birth process, you know, we have to get to the hospital. Someone has to stay with you. Someone has to watch the kids. We had our sister for the summer. Someone has to go get the car. Someone has to pick you up. Someone has it like, just imagining. Because I used to be like, I personally don't give a damn. I just want a baby. You could be not. Shit, bye, I don't need you. But guess what?
[00:32:49] Speaker B: She was like, I just want a baby. Not the baby daddy. Right.
Right.
[00:32:53] Speaker A: Because y'all.
[00:32:54] Speaker B: I was my other friend, and he who has a kid, and he was like, is she okay? Because why would you want to do that?
[00:33:01] Speaker A: And now watching, like, being there for you and seeing you become a mother and like, the. The blessing that it was to have me and him and. And our friends, like, all switching off, because even if we don't need to do anything for you.
[00:33:16] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:33:17] Speaker A: We need to be there with you.
[00:33:19] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:33:19] Speaker A: You know, so that just really changed my perspective on not giving a damn because I'm getting to a certain age or whatever, and I just want to have a kid. Like, who wants to do that alone?
[00:33:31] Speaker B: No. Yeah. It's really important, especially to specifically choose.
[00:33:34] Speaker A: To know that you're going to do that alone.
[00:33:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Especially because you don't. People don't take into account, if you're not a mother already, what the nighttime looks like.
[00:33:43] Speaker A: Right.
[00:33:44] Speaker B: Like, because in the daytime, everybody wants to like, can I hold the baby? Can I do this? Can I do that? But at night, when it's just you or just you and your man, or what if he has. When your baby wakes up every two hours, every three hours or whatever, like, that is not for the week. And like, it to the point, like, I. I'm, like, physically crying. He's like, I got her. Like, you know, you need somebody like that. Not everybody has the money to hire a night nurse or. You know what I mean? Or. Or not everybody has their mother with them. You know what I mean? Because that's right. So it's just like, really be intentional about who you pick. Even if. And I'm not even going to shame anybody. Even if you don't stay with your partner, it would be nice to have your partner to be there with me there with you. Like, especially in those first. Because now she's starting to sleep through the night, but she still wakes up at 4 to have a little snack. She still wakes up at 6, you know what I mean? But when it was that every two hours. Oh, my goodness. You need somebody.
[00:34:41] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:34:42] Speaker B: So. Yeah. Do you want me to ask my question?
[00:34:44] Speaker A: Yes. I'm proud of you.
[00:34:46] Speaker B: Thank you, thank you, thank you. I really needed to hear that.
[00:34:51] Speaker A: No, like, thank you. Like, are you kidding me?
[00:34:53] Speaker B: I know. And guys, we've been on for 36 minutes, and all she did was a coup. Like, she's such a good baby. Oh, also, we prayed every day of my pregnancy that we would have a calm baby, and that's what we got. So just really be intentional. What you want from your child or what you want to have. Like, if you want them.
[00:35:11] Speaker A: You have to pray specifically. You have to pray specifically. You have to pray constantly.
[00:35:16] Speaker B: You have to pray intentionally.
[00:35:19] Speaker A: Intentionally. Yeah, that's good.
[00:35:21] Speaker B: With all your might and repeatedly. But okay, so when I want to ask you, because I'm sure there's some other people in our life who know these things, but. But I don't. So I wanted to ask, like, what do you want? Like, what is next for you? Like, I remember the last time we made vision boards in like, 2019, and you were like, you're going to be really surprised at what. Right? What's on here? And it was marriage and a kid, because that's not something that you wanted before. So, like, what's on your vision board? Like, do you want to get married? Do you want to have a kid? Like, what. What do you. Like, what do you want out of life?
And what active steps are you taking to obtain this goal?
[00:35:58] Speaker A: That's a heavy question. And I wasn't prepared for this. This wasn't on my episode vision board.
But I am currently at the end of the day, big vision.
If I could just.
Since I'm just a manager, if I could just be a manager of talent and have this. This big, you know, all these resources to pull from and create this. This empire. Like, I see myself being like a.
Like a quality control or a tde. Like, not necessarily a label, but like that, you know, Like, I saw this. This post that was for the BET Awards, and it was like all the people who are nominated for the awards by management.
[00:36:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:36:50] Speaker A: It was like QC has two, TDE has three. You know what? I can't even think of other people off top of my head, but. And I was just like, damn, yeah, that's gonna be me, right? That's gonna be me.
[00:37:03] Speaker B: That's your career goal, though. Yeah, that's your career goal.
[00:37:07] Speaker A: Oh, I thought that was the question.
[00:37:10] Speaker B: No, I'm just saying, like, as a person, like, when. When there is no legal. Legal queen, when there is no royalty room, like, what do you want for the. For yourself at the core?
[00:37:21] Speaker A: I mean, of course I want my man.
Of course I want my man. But the men that I have to pull from are really not shit.
[00:37:31] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:37:32] Speaker A: At least as of late.
[00:37:34] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:37:34] Speaker A: At least within this. This city industry situation thing that I'm in, you know, so. Of course, course. Like, I'm really a lover girl. Like, you of all people should know. Like, I really am like. And all be all, whatever you need, the shirt off my back, the pennies in my bank account, whatever it is. I live to take care of people.
[00:37:56] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:37:57] Speaker A: Like, that's been my thing since I was 5 years old. And we were in the house and the projects together by ourselves for a week at a time. You know, candy in the fridge, breakfast.
I been taking care of people all my life, and people are like, oh, you need to focus on yourself.
I derive my happiness and my fulfillment from taking care of others. So, of course, the end all be all is my man.
And starting a family and doing all these things. But at this point, at my big old age, I'm starting to realize I'm not settling right. So it may take me a while to get there because it's a lot of bullshit. And I said it on another episode. Like, it's been. I've been out here for five years, and it's been five years of nightmares.
[00:38:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:52] Speaker A: Like, because everybody wants to use me for connections or for legal and management or for, you know, my house or, you know, my what? Like, whatever. You want to use me. You want to take advantage of me? You want to.
You want to have a poly relationship? Like, what the fuck, bro? Like, where are normal people? I don't know. I'm finding. I'm having a hard time finding normal candidates.
[00:39:19] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:39:20] Speaker A: Today.
[00:39:20] Speaker B: Yeah. And I would say that I think a lot of that comes from because you have to be in these spaces for your career, that that's where your pool is coming from. But that's not where you gonna find the husband that you're talking about. You ain't gonna find your husband there. You know what I mean?
[00:39:41] Speaker A: And so she asked me this question to prove a point is what she's saying.
I said all that for you to say all that. Heard.
It's not. I didn't choose this life.
Okay. The life chose me.
[00:39:58] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:39:59] Speaker A: You know, but while we talking about why we talking about this, I do Want to shout out this. This jersey that I got on because av. Legal number seven, we got Legal Queen LA on the back.
[00:40:12] Speaker B: I don't think your mic can. Oh, I don't want to leave your mic.
[00:40:16] Speaker A: Legal Queen LA on the back. Okay. Thank you to my ex.
Thank you to my ex for getting me this nice shirt. I will be making them, and on the front they'll say, talk to my lawyer. On the back they'll say, legal Queen la. So if y'all want to get some, put it in the comments, let me know.
[00:40:34] Speaker B: Basketball, football.
[00:40:35] Speaker A: Basketball, football, baseball. We're gonna do it.
I was gonna go to a Kings game last week. I was.
But, yes, talk to my lawyer, because for now, I'm focused on my career, I guess.
[00:40:52] Speaker B: Thanks for having me.
[00:40:54] Speaker A: Thank you for coming. Of course. This was. This was really nice.
I feel like it was also another therapeutic episode like we had before with Shanay. But moral of the story, we're on the Royalty Room. Thank you guys for watching. I'm Legal Queen la. Ashley Valenzuela. Y'all better, like, comment, subscribe, share it to somebody. You never know who this could help. And that's really my biggest thing is, is paying it forward. The knowledge that we have and the things that we go through are completely useless if we're not sharing the stories. And I have a platform, and I want to use it for the good and not the evil and spreading knowledge, whether that's about law or whether that's about life. And that's what we gonna do. So thank you for watching the Royalty Room. And, oh, news for everybody. Before we go, Royalty Room trademark just got registered. Your girl owns the trademark. Okay. Royalty Room is not going anywhere. We're locked in. And I think it was February.
We had two to February 22, 2022. That's when the idea I was like, I'm going to call my show Royalty Room. That just happened on that date. So that anniversary is coming up in February. So that just goes to show how long it takes to get a trademark filed and registered. It takes a long time. So if you need one, call me. Royalty Room. We're going to put the TM next to the logo because it's ours. Okay, see you all next time.
[00:42:43] Speaker B: Bye.
