Episode Transcript
Speaker 1 00:00:03 Hey everybody, it's Legal Queen La and we're back with the Royalty Room. It is our first official episode, and we are going to get into all of the news. And today marks the first day of mental health awareness. So we are going to be talking about social media, we're gonna be talking about Hollywood, and we're gonna be talking about something called the Minds Edit. We're also gonna learn how to meditate. I know it's hard, but today we have an expert here, Ms. Calle Robinson. She's going to teach us all about the mind edit.
Speaker 0 00:00:34 Yes, I am Ms. Ashley. The mind edit is something that every person, every human, every infant, every elderly person, even pet's need.
Speaker 1 00:00:46 Honestly, we should have brought Kilo. So Kilo can be a part of the mind edit today. Why not <laugh>? Um, but, you know, let's go ahead and get into the news. Mental Health Awareness month. Um, may is, you know, very important. The country is going through a huge mental health crisis. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, especially Los Angeles, especially Hollywood. Um, there's actually a county in Iowa I just read this morning that is starting their own mental health court. Uh, it's gonna be the first of the kind in their state. And I think that that's gonna be something very interesting to watch. Um, it's gonna focus on people who are involuntarily admitted, um mm-hmm. <affirmative>, but also track them and help them continue treatment, support them through their transition. Um, I think it's, it's, it's gonna be something good, uh, is what I'm hoping. And then also, right here in Los Angeles, Los Angeles Board of Education and the Department of Health have joined together with some of the healthcare plans. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, and they're now offering free mental health services to K through S 12 students, which is something I'm really excited about. Um, it's a company called Hazel Health. They're gonna be doing telehealth for free for all of the students in the
Speaker 0 00:02:00 Area. That's, that's really good. Going back to the court thing, is that also for people that don't feel like they should be committed and they're saying, and they're advocating for their freedom? Yep.
Speaker 1 00:02:11 Absolutely. Oh, that's
Speaker 0 00:02:12 Wonderful. Absolutely.
Speaker 1 00:02:13 I think it is. I'm, I'm happy to see that they care enough Yeah. To focus a court, a specific court on the mental health mm-hmm. <affirmative>, because, you know, involuntary admissions, um, I, I was gonna share my story here a little bit. Um, I went through some, some very tough times in law school. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I had a lot of, uh, doctors after the things that I went through, they wanted me to withdraw from law school mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And they wanted me to go to the hospital, uh, because I couldn't find counseling on campus. I couldn't find a counselor that, or a therapist that could help me. And that would resonate with me in that time. And it was such a, a dark time. The only options that the people were giving me were admit yourself. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, or we're gonna admit you withdraw from law school cuz you clearly can't handle it right now. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And guess what? I said, <laugh>, no, we not doing that. We're gonna get through this. We're gonna go to school. And that's what I did. Um, that's, would you
Speaker 0 00:03:20 Have used the court like that you think?
Speaker 1 00:03:22 If they would've forced me into admission and I would've lost possibly my career. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. But, um, Florida, it, where I'm from, it's, it's a pretty different ballgame down there. Um, there's, there's a lot of laws that are being enacted against the trans community, against the minorities. Um, even, even, you're not allowed to record police anymore. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, um, I'm not sure if that has actually gone into effect, but Florida is, is tremendously backtracking on mental health right now. Mm. Um, but since we're in Hollywood, there are a lot of celebrities who are voicing their issues with mental health. And it's something that we haven't seen, uh, up until, you know, maybe the last two, three years, I think since the pandemic, it really got people talking about mental health and kind of brought it to the forefront. Um, we have Kristen Bell, she just joined a platform called Hers as a mental health ambassador, actor Da Vinci from All American, just shifted his focus to focus on his mental health and advocate for therapy, which is beautiful.
Speaker 1 00:04:29 He's a, a young black man in the community. And I don't think that there are enough, um, advocates in Hollywood that are doing that. So it's really nice. He's, he's a, an actor. He's on B M F as well, um, which I wanna focus on a little bit later. Ah. Um, but he wants to reduce the stigma on, uh, therapy. And I think that's really powerful for someone in that position to kind of talk about it. Cuz again, the culture versus mental health. Right. That's what we're here for today. Yeah. And the culture is really against mental health and therapy.
Speaker 0 00:05:02 Well, any, if you're afraid of anything, it's only because you don't understand it. Yeah. And growing up, a lot of our parents, they weren't into therapy. I know my mom and my father were not against were, excuse me, were not into therapy. My mother thinks that therapy is a negative thing. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And the minute you mentioned a psychologist or a therapist, or even life coach, I mean, she's getting very, now she's coming around to the life coach, but, um, it's almost like something's wrong with you. Yep. And immediately she just shuts down. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And it's a negative thing, which actually did a very, um, it turned out to be a very crucial part in my life that her position on that actually separated me from her for about eight, six to eight years. Wow. Yeah. So
Speaker 1 00:05:54 I can agree. Actually. Um, my parents are very young. They're, I believe 45. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, they're very young. And it was only just recently within the last year that my dad acknowledged that mental health is a real thing. And our relationship went from almost nonexistent to I call him and say, Hey, I love you. How's your day? And that's something that I didn't think was possible, but mm-hmm. <affirmative>, he acknowledged it. He realizes that it's real. He admitted, he admitted, you know, his faults maybe in, in my upbringing. And again, I never thought it was possible, but,
Speaker 0 00:06:31 But it is. And it happened. Yeah. There you go. I'm happy. All things are possible.
Speaker 1 00:06:36 Exactly. Especially with the mind edit and I'm gonna keep talking about it. Cause I'm excited for everybody to learn. Um, also, you know, Kathy Griffin, she just came out, uh, and thanked all of her supporters for helping her through her mental health journey. She has extreme, extreme P T S D, and she has shared that with the world. Um, Fox Sports. Jay Glazer wants to take the shame away from mental health and, uh, encourages everybody to lean into somebody. And then my most, most exciting thing about this month, May 11th, U t a United Talent Agency, they are hosting Hollywood Mind and Mental Health Summit. We have, uh, some super great guests that are going to be there. Charlemagne, the God and Master P, which I just found out. Master P is a, uh, mental health ambassador for nami, the National Mental health, um, the National Alliance on Mental Health, which I had no idea.
Speaker 1 00:07:33 Oh, really? Um, yeah. So that's super exciting. Of course there's gonna be plenty of mental health, uh, advisors. Yeah. But for these two prominent, prominent black men in entertainment, Charlemagne has had, you know, an extensive podcast with the Breakfast Club. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you know, he's had some backlash. Master P has had, you know, backlash in his rap career. You know, things going on with his family, you know, him and him and Lo Romeo mm-hmm. <affirmative> one of my early, early favorites in entertainment. But I think it's, it's, I'm super excited to see them in a summit about mental health. I think that's going to hold so much weight in the community and the culture. Um, and I'm really excited about it. There are tickets online, um, at U T A, again, it's called the Hollywood Mind and Mental Health Summit. It's gonna be on May 11th. Um, I will be in attendance and I, I really hope that everybody can tune in, whether it's in reviewing. Um, I, I think this is gonna be very powerful.
Speaker 0 00:08:32 Yeah. You know, I used to work for Masterpiece. Really? Yeah, I did. Oh my God. I was an assistant <laugh> when he did. He had this foundation, Uhhuh <affirmative>, uh, let the kids grow. Yep. And it was about kids and, and also, um, their health and their mental health and just, just, he was always about children and giving them the right information and the right platform for them to just thrive. Wow. And so
Speaker 1 00:09:00 That makes so much sense. And that's mostly what we're gonna be
Speaker 0 00:09:03 Talking about today. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:09:05 Cause I dunno, I dunno if anybody knows, but Ashley Valenzuela is for the people. And when I say the people, I mean the children. That's the only reason I'm a lawyer. Uh, taking it way back. I've always wanted to be a teacher. My daddy said, Nope, you not gonna be broke on my watch. Um, still a passion of mine. I think I'm gonna end up being a teacher eventually. But I shifted my focus into child advocacy, um, in the foster care system. Mm-hmm. And, you know, there are hundreds of thousands of children, uh, that enter the foster care system every day. I actually took, um, part of my journey in LA to work with the Children's Law Center, and it was, it was very, very, very impactful. It's exactly what I signed up to be a lawyer for. But in my mental health journey, um, it's, it's far too triggering and traumatic to have 180 kids on my roster. 10 15 hearings a day. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Um, so I'm always gonna come back to it. It's always gonna be my pro bono, but in my mental health journey, I need to heal myself first before I can continue to, uh, advocate for the children. But let's go ahead. Speaking of children, let's go ahead and get into the social media dilemma, because
Speaker 0 00:10:22 What's that dilemma?
Speaker 1 00:10:24 The dilemma is schools are even suing big tech, TikTok, Snapchat, soc uh, Instagram, meta Twitter, um,
Speaker 0 00:10:37 On what grounds
Speaker 1 00:10:39 The suicide rates are out of control. Um, since about 20 10, 20 12, when Twitter and, uh, meta kind of came to the forefront, um, it was Facebook and Twitter and Instagram mm-hmm. <affirmative> at that point. Um, there is a lot going on with, uh, social media portraying, um, violence desensitizing. Um, you know, George Floyd was, was murdered on the internet for everybody to see, um, cancel culture is a thing. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Um, I know some people don't know what cancel culture is, but apparently it's made its way to the Websters dictionary and dictionary.com. It is the practice of engaging in mass canceling, canceling. You know, we don't want to hear from this person anymore as a way of expressing disapproval and exerting social pressure. So in, in that end, we can think of Kyrie Irving. He posted a, a film that he hadn't watched, and they, they wanted to crucify him in front of the world, uh, for not knowing what he, what he posted.
Speaker 1 00:11:49 Um, we have Chris Rock, uh, will Smith was being canceled mm-hmm. <affirmative>, um, for his, you know, defense of his wife. Uh, we have another definition from dictionary.com. It's public publicly rejecting, boycotting, or ending support for particular people. Um, shared attitudes and values within a particular segment that leads to such public rejection of groups or people. Um, Doja Kat was being canceled at one point. JK Rowling, the, the writer of Harry Potter was being canceled at one point for posting transphobic, um, comments, alleged transphobic comments. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, um, Kanye West has been trying to be canceled for the last couple of years. Um, and this goes, you know, even down to a, a lower scale in high schools and in colleges. And, um, you know, a lot of influencers are in their teens. Um, these are some completely opposing viewpoints. We have a, an older conservative and a younger liberal.
Speaker 1 00:12:52 Uh, we can break it down into their viewpoints. Cancel culture is destroying a person's career. Representation, reputation based on past events, um, that that person participated in, or statements or their beliefs. And cancel culture is a synonym for political correctness. Words and fa phrases are taken outta context to bury the careers of people. A mob mentality. And that is essentially a mob mentality over the internet. Um, it's kind of just taken the world by storm on Instagram, at least. Instagram and Twitter, I think are the main culprits. And, um, and then moving even from cancel culture. Everything is online. We're seeing fights online. We're seeing deaths online. There are modern day lynchings in the 2020s that are online. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So what is that doing to one our culture as a whole mm-hmm. <affirmative>, but the kids, the kids are growing up on social media.
Speaker 1 00:13:53 Yeah. Um, my baby sister is eight years old, and all she does is scroll TikTok and YouTube shorts all day. Um, there's a, there's a study. Suicide rates in teens is out of control. Uh, over the last 10 years, it's increased 30%. And, um, there's also a social media victim's law center, which I find to be alarming. There is a law center, <laugh> Law Center for victims of social media, um, among children and young adults. 10 to 24, the suicide rate is 10 per 100,000. And suicide is the second leading cause of death among that age group. And I say age 10 to 24, my sister's eight. Um, you know, from my
Speaker 0 00:14:50 Perspective, you know, it's like, I kind of feel like they're doing it backwards. So instead of looking at the external forces, it's more internal that has to be looked at because then what has to happen? You need all of this to change so that your child, or you can feel better about life. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So how's that gonna work out? You know, it doesn't work out well because if I need you to change so that I can feel better about me, then I need you to change him. To change her, to change. Everybody needs to change. So instead of looking at what everybody else is doing, we need to now start teaching our children and ourselves about what it is that we accept for us. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, because somebody else has a decision and they made a decision about their life, or they're saying anything out there that is, um, different from what your perspective is, it's okay.
Speaker 0 00:15:43 But we're not teaching that. We want those people to change their views, change who they are, change how they're doing things so that I can be okay. Wrong. I think it's a flip flop, which to me, the mind edit of flip flop is, is, is when we're taught something opposite and we believe it to be true. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So yeah. That's my viewpoint on it. Uh, it's all internal. If we teach our children and we teach ourselves that everyone is entitled to their opinion and the way they choose to live their lives, and it does not affect me unless I choose it to.
Speaker 1 00:16:16 Wow. Yeah. Unless I choose for it to affect me. That's, that's powerful. Um, I think I agree with you and I think that, um, I think we have another, another article that states, um, yes. It's, this is exactly it. Um, teens who report using social media more than two hours a day experience more Poor me mental health outcomes, including suicidal thoughts. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, um, overuse of social media. How do you, how do you feel about that in, um, in children and teens and, and even college, college age? I, I think I was, I, I was 17 when I started college, so I think this applies from K through college. How do you feel about social media usage with everything that's on it? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, all of the information, all of the, the videos, there's, there's guns, there's rappers posting John Moran, even the N B A player was posting a gun. You know, there's, there's a lot of things that I think we shouldn't be seeing. And, you know, two hours a day seems, seems small, but for a child, you know, you're at, you're at school all these hours. How much free time do you have? Two hours. Seems to be a lot of time to be spending on the phone or the tablet.
Speaker 0 00:17:40 Well, how did they get the access to it?
Speaker 1 00:17:44 Parents don't have the time. Parents don't have the time to spend. Do, do, do. Okay. I, I think parents, right?
Speaker 0 00:17:53 Yeah,
Speaker 1 00:17:53 Parents for sure.
Speaker 0 00:17:54 Yeah. So it's all in your household. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, it all starts from at home. At home being within your own being first, and then your extended, which is your mother, your father, your caregiver. Um, then it's your teachers. That's the next one. Cuz kids go to school. So it's,
Speaker 1 00:18:13 That's why I wanted to be a teacher. Yeah. Teachers are the most important part of growing up. Yeah. I, I feel like, you know, a lawyer, a lawyer is great or whatever, <laugh>, if I don't do say myself, but if I wanted to do,
Speaker 0 00:18:28 You know, I wanted to be a lawyer. Really?
Speaker 1 00:18:30 Yes. I had no idea.
Speaker 0 00:18:32 I sent you my bio late. But in the bio it says, tell
Speaker 1 00:18:35 Us your bio. What are we doing? We just know your name.
Speaker 0 00:18:39 Okay. I'm Kelly Robinson. I was born in Bermuda. And, um, going back to what you said, I used to skip school when I was in high school, and I used to sneak into the courtroom and I used to sit at the back to watch the attorneys litigate and the judge. But from the perspective of thoughts mm-hmm. <affirmative>, like, I wanted to see how this person approached this and how that pro person approached that and how the outcome came out in relationship to how they argued the point. Like, it, it was, it was like a whole psychological fascination for me. I don't,
Speaker 1 00:19:14 So I don't know if that's the coolest skip school story or the lama skip school story that I've heard because we're skipping school to go to court. That's kinda lit. Yeah. I like that. That says a lot about you. Yes, it does. <laugh> up all good things. Yes. Yes. Only good things to say. Um, but in, in addition to social media, yeah. I think, uh, I think we also have to talk about streaming, um, television, streaming networks. Um, I have been thinking about this for, for the last year. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, we have an article here. This is a 2019, uh, news article from the Washington Post. Uh, they're mentioning the lack of social responsibility that Netflix and other platforms have taken in promoting only violence, murder mysteries, cults, documentaries and series about battering women and killing everybody. You know, everybody went crazy for the Daher series. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And my roommate was in her bed having nightmares mm-hmm. <affirmative>, because we watched two episodes in a row before bed. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And, you know, we have the show you where this, this we're enthralled with this psychopath mm-hmm. <affirmative>, who literally killed every single person on every single series. And, um, well,
Speaker 0 00:20:30 Not every single person, Ashley.
Speaker 1 00:20:32 Okay. Well maybe there's a couple of people that made, made it that survive <laugh>. Uh, but you know, me, I'm a, I'm a do a little exaggeration. Sprinkle, sprinkle on top. But, um, in, in addition to killing everybody, you know, we have B m f, snowfall power, um, all of those shows, they're super great. Just like I was saying, you know, uh, da Vinci did a great job and, and Lil Meach did a great job. They're mm-hmm. <affirmative> wonderful shows. But this is all we have that we're watching. It's, it's exhausting. I tried to, I try to limit my TV to, you know, before I go to bed and fall asleep to something. Um, but, you know, here I'm concerned about the trajectory we're going on. They said this was in 2019 mm-hmm. <affirmative>, all of these shows that I'm talking about besides power, it, it was there before.
Speaker 1 00:21:22 These are all shows that have come out since then. Since the pandemic, since the mental health crisis, since everybody lost their jobs. And, and therapy has picked up. This is what we're watching. I, I remember there was a time when I went on Netflix a couple of months ago and I couldn't find anything that wasn't about cults and true crime and murder. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And I'm trying to go to sleep to these things, <laugh> Really? And I'm all, I'm watching Snowfall, and all I hear is everybody's killing everybody. They're screaming, they're running the, it is just, it's just, um, I can't Did you ever think to just turn it off over? And I do. And I did. Okay. Well, what if I wanna watch something? What do I got? Abbott Elementary. Shout out. Shout out to the queens <laugh>. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Um, that's great. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 00:22:17 <affirmative>. But do you know how long I have to scroll to find something that isn't about death and murder and, and abuse and screaming and negativity. Yeah. It's, it's hard. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. It's hard. And, and the kids, yeah. We have Netflix kids, but how, how often are they going on the Netflix kids? You know, they're just gonna go on whoever's account. Is that at the top? But, but even cartoons now display those things too. Yep. Yep. You're right. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you're right. It's, it's hard to get away from. And, and I think that's, that's part of the problem here in, in mental health. And, and I guess the, the next thing that I would want to touch on, uh, since the reason I became a lawyer was for the kids child stars. That's, that's a tale as oldest time. You know, we have, we have Britney Spears, we have McCulley Culkin, we have Amanda Binds was just recently in the news last month.
Speaker 1 00:23:11 Um, she was, you know, running around, uh, outside. There were things going on. She had to be taken into, into the hospital. Demi Lovato, Lin Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Um, that's one of the main reasons I kind of wanted to focus on entertainment law because, uh, I don't know if, if most people know my sister is a professional dancer. Uh, shout out Nina, the ballet B girl. She's also my nail tech <laugh>. Um, she is one of the main reasons why I started this entertainment industry. Because no matter if she was 18 or 19 or seven when she entered the entertainment industry, it's vultures. They wanna not pay you. They wanna take advantage of you. They want you to, to do extra things for these roles or do extra things that they weren't paid for. And nine times out of 10, the child stars end up with significant mental health issues.
Speaker 1 00:24:09 Um, we, uh, I love a momager. I'm, I'm gonna be the best momager in the world. I, I already was told that I was one. And I don't even have any kids shout out to Chris Jenner. She really did that. But they also don't know the law behind the industry. There are no preventative measures. There's no preventative contracts. Um, you know, we're just showing up to auditions and just, ah, my kid's gonna be famous. Let's, let's do it. But they're not stopping to think, Hey, let's call a lawyer, which is where you call me. Um, how do we, what can we do about this? What can we do about the, the, the epidemic of, of child stars in their mental health, the social media, the, the streaming, the everything, everything that we've discussed and maybe some things that are on your mind that we haven't discussed. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, what do we do about it? I know that you said that it was internal. So it is, where do we start
Speaker 0 00:25:05 Inside? I'm gonna give you the same answer. Time <laugh> me. It's the same answer. It different circumstances, but the core is you. So we have to start teaching our children and ourselves first, ourselves and then our children. Because you can't give what you don't have in this world. So a lot of times what we're doing is we're attempting to give whatever it is, to whoever it is, without first having it ourselves. And that's where you get depleted. You feel, um, upset or frustrated pouring
Speaker 1 00:25:41 From an empty cup.
Speaker 0 00:25:42 Yeah. Very much so. So we first have to do understand these, these things for ourselves and how important and powerful we are as human beings. There's this law of attraction that is just like gravity. It's one of the most powerful universal laws that there, there is. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, whether you believe it or not, doesn't matter. Cause it's still happening. You cannot not believe in gravity. But if you jump off a 20 foot building, you're gonna fall. So the law of attraction is something that is universal. And it happens to every single person. See, you're a lawyer. I was gonna be a lawyer, but you are the lawyer. <laugh>, I'm living my life through you. I love
Speaker 1 00:26:24 That
Speaker 0 00:26:24 <laugh>. Um, there's two types of laws. So there is earthly laws that I call earthly laws like the law, the, the planet. Like you have, um, the, uh, courthouse. Now, when you go into a courthouse, it's not one set of rules for everyone. You could go in for the same crime, but get two different judgements. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, that's not true. Universal law is truth. It happens to everyone at any time, at every, any time. So it's like, um, the only real laws that we have are the ones of, of the universe. So yeah. It's, um, once we understand that and we understand how that works, then you can just play the game.
Speaker 1 00:27:08 And the, I don't like to play games, Kye <laugh>, but the game, I don't like to play games.
Speaker 0 00:27:13 The game is fun. The game is healthy and fun because when you realize that your thoughts are things and that you're creating your world, then you can intentionally have a thought and then watch it show up. That's when life really becomes fun.
Speaker 1 00:27:29 Manifestation.
Speaker 0 00:27:30 Yeah, exactly. Manifestation.
Speaker 1 00:27:31 Yeah. And, um, so we, we've mentioned a lot about the mind edit. So is this, is this a part of the mind edit, or where do we start on the mind edit process?
Speaker 0 00:27:46 So the mind edit process is starts from, where does it start from? Wow. That's a great question because it, it, it can start from
Speaker 1 00:27:56 Wherever you're at. Uh,
Speaker 0 00:27:57 Exactly Right. You start wherever you are. Um, and it's, it's all about putting truth on the table so that you can, you can make decisions based on your truth instead of the lies you've been telling yourself. Because the lies you've been telling yourself is the reason for your suffering. And so, I know that suffering is the biggest addiction we have in the human race, but no one talks about it. Nobody even knows it's happening because it's so normalized. But it's not something that we're supposed to have as a, as the human race. We're actually supposed to have more alignment in our days.
Speaker 1 00:28:35 What is, what is alignment for, for our viewers who, who maybe are new to this realm entirely? Yeah. What is alignment and how can we find it if we don't have it or we're not in alignment?
Speaker 0 00:28:48 Right. So alignment is getting what you want. So if you want something, and we all know we want things, and if you're getting it, you're in alignment. If you are not getting what you want, then you're out of alignment. And that's really as simple as it as it is. And how you get to alignment is you have to focus on how you feel. And you have to make you the most important thing that there is. You come before everything. You come before your children, your husband, your wife, your mother, your father. You are your, your most important asset. And what that does is it teaches the people around you, like your children, your husband, your mother, your father, your wife, how they can still be in alignment and, and become the most thing in their world. Because if you give away yourself, even for like all our mothers out there and fathers out there that are depleting themselves by putting others in front of them and draining their own supply, you are teaching your children how to grow up and put others in front of them and how to drain their own supply. So you always wanna put yourself first and teach, teach your kids and teach, you know, the people around you. How to make yourself important, because we are important. We're important to, to our lives because our whole life depends on how we see ourselves.
Speaker 1 00:30:22 Um, one of the first things that I learned from you before I even met you before I even met you, I learned, you know, me girl, <laugh>. Oh, you, you know me. No, <laugh>. Um, but before I even met you, the first thing I learned from you was to only say what you want,
Speaker 0 00:30:40 Speak what you want, not what you
Speaker 1 00:30:43 Don't want. There you go. Yeah. So in, in saying that, um, what, what do you, what do you mean? Like, because I want a lot of things. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you know, a couple of the things that I want. So where's the line a thing? Where's the line? <laugh>,
Speaker 0 00:31:05 Press and place thing,
Speaker 1 00:31:07 <laugh> person, place things. Um, where is the line between this is what I want. I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna own it, I'm gonna own it. I'm gonna manifest and delusion. Is there a line?
Speaker 0 00:31:22 Well,
Speaker 1 00:31:23 How do you, how do you, you know what I
Speaker 0 00:31:26 Mean? That's, that's a great question. Yeah. Um, I would say the delusion part will come or will be a parent if you have a idea that you're thinking about and you've had it over a period of time and it's just not happening. So that's when you can say to yourself, okay, you can do a self analyzation on you and say, okay, I've been wanting this, but it's not showing up, but I still want it. I'm still wanting it and it's not showing up. I'm still wanting it. And it's not showing up. That right there would, would clearly certify anyone is being delusional and <laugh>. And that's only because, um, what's that saying? They say, uh, if you, um, if you keep doing the same thing and you're getting the results that aren't changing, you're crazy. Something like that.
Speaker 1 00:32:21 <laugh> the definition of in insanity, the definition of in definition Insanity. Insanity. Solomon. Yeah. There
Speaker 0 00:32:27 You go. Woo. That's right. So, so yeah. So
Speaker 1 00:32:36 Was like, is that
Speaker 0 00:32:40 <laugh>? I thought that was God.
Speaker 1 00:32:41 Okay. No, but, but definitely. I understand. I understand what you're saying. Yes. So do you, in this, in this mind editing process, where, where do you stand on on therapy?
Speaker 0 00:32:56 Your lips Just pop
Speaker 1 00:32:58 My lip glosses pop. Oh my god. <laugh>.
Speaker 0 00:33:02 Well,
Speaker 1 00:33:02 We're, it's the fifth grade. Okay.
Speaker 0 00:33:04 Let me see.
Speaker 1 00:33:05 That was, that
Speaker 0 00:33:06 Was, that's beautiful.
Speaker 1 00:33:07 Lip gloss sponsors we're looking for lip gloss sponsors. <laugh>.
Speaker 0 00:33:12 So what did you say about the third grade? Ah,
Speaker 1 00:33:15 Oh no, my daddy bought me my first makeup
Speaker 0 00:33:17 Kit. Oh, I'm sorry. I merged the two. I marched the two
Speaker 1 00:33:20 <laugh>. Um, no, but what do you feel about, how do you feel about therapy? Yeah. Um, I, I personally, I think therapy is the best medicine. I think that it, it is important for people in our, our times mm-hmm. <affirmative> to have somebody that they can talk to, unbiased. Um, they know nothing about them. You know, because I feel like if you are, if you're talking to all of your friends and you're talking to all of your family about the same things over and over again, you're getting different opinions from different people that are biased. And you, you sprinkle this information here, you sprinkle this information here, but there's no, you're not getting anywhere. There's no mm-hmm. <affirmative> goal. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Um, there's no trajectory. There's no guidance. You're just blah. Right. And seeing what sticks or what maybe somebody might have to say mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So do you think in, in working on, on your, your mental health and your healing mm-hmm. <affirmative>, um, that therapy is an important part
Speaker 0 00:34:18 Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:34:19 As
Speaker 0 00:34:19 Well. Yeah, I do. But you really have to, um, be mindful of who the therapist is. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, the first therapist that you have is yourself and how you determine on where to move and how to move and what to adjust is how you feel. So a lot of us are disconnected from how we feel. Uh, that's because when we were younger, our caregivers, our parents trained us away from that. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, they trained us away from who we naturally and truly are. And putting ourselves first to putting them first. Because when they, um, we do something right, they applaud us. And when we do something wrong, they scold us. Yep. So immediately as a child, you start learning, I need to please you.
Speaker 1 00:35:07 It's not about us. Right?
Speaker 0 00:35:08 Yeah. It's not about me, it's about you. And that's why kids, they would quickly say, no, come here. No. They would say whatever they say, they and they say, and the parents would be angry because they feel like they're back talking or they're not listening instead of wanting to understand why are they saying no. Sometimes kids don't always have to play with other kids. They don't have to. We don't play with every kid or every person out there in the world as adults. So kids are the same way. And parents wanna force children into a, uh, into something that they are not wanting to be.
Speaker 1 00:35:44 Without even asking.
Speaker 0 00:35:45 Without even asking. Why. Why exactly. And
Speaker 1 00:35:48 I think, um, I spent most of my high school and my college careers, uh, studying early childhood development and, uh, family dysfunction and uh, you know, things like that. And I learned that the first five years of your life are essentially the most important. They determine the rest of your life. You know, you develop your core beliefs, um, what you're given and what you're not getting. Um,
Speaker 0 00:36:15 You see, I disagree with that.
Speaker 1 00:36:17 Tell me more.
Speaker 0 00:36:19 Because what you're saying now and what you're teaching children and people is that after five you're fucked. It's
Speaker 1 00:36:26 Done Well,
Speaker 0 00:36:28 <laugh>, and that's not true. It's not true at all.
Speaker 1 00:36:31 And that's the negative mindset. At
Speaker 0 00:36:33 Any point, at any time, at any place, you can change your life. It's all through how you think. So that perspective is something that is, um, once someone adopts that and they actually, um, make that true ths and say something happened when they were four mm-hmm. <affirmative> that knocked them out the game, they're gonna be 40
Speaker 1 00:36:59 Lost up. Mm. Can't do nothing about it. Can't do nothing, nothing
Speaker 0 00:37:03 About it. Exactly. And that, and, and that perspective and that core belief system is what the mindset is. It is about exposing because that belief system of it, it, something happened then that has impacted me forever is, is, is, is not what I, I, I subscribe to. So
Speaker 1 00:37:25 You believe we can move past everything mm-hmm. <affirmative>, anything, any
Speaker 0 00:37:29 And everything,
Speaker 1 00:37:30 Just by the way that we think about this.
Speaker 0 00:37:32 Absolutely.
Speaker 1 00:37:34 So, um, I'm gonna ask you one more question and then I wanna talk to you about meditation. Ooh. Um, how, obviously we're all going to have negative thoughts. Uhhuh,
Speaker 0 00:37:45 <affirmative>,
Speaker 1 00:37:46 Um, we have what, hundreds of thousands of thoughts a day. What do we do with the negative thoughts? Because whenever they build up and build up, you know, that's when we find ourself in, in the bed and depressed. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, how do we get
Speaker 0 00:38:00 'em out? So, so your first question is, what do you do with them? You befriend them. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you have to have a great relationship with your contrast. So contrast is the negative thoughts, the things you, you don't, you get that you don't want all the things that are happening to you that you wanna change, that's your contrast. You have to befriend it. It's a part of the journey. All contrast is, think of it like a flashlight. It just points the way to where you wanna go. If I don't want this, what do I want? You turn 180 degrees in the opposite direction. I want that. It's really that simple. It's just options, variety and choice. That's all contrast gives you. So now go into your second question. All the negative thoughts. So the goal is 90 10, we came here to this planet for two reasons to create and to have fun. That's why we're here as human beings. And our whole purpose of coming here is to spend 90 day, 90% of our day in alignment and only 10% of our day in contrast. So that we can expand and we can ex, you know, discover and become more. Cuz that's what contrast does. It helps you with your expansion. If this world, if we all were yellow, we all ate, ate pizza, or we all listened to
Speaker 1 00:39:24 <laugh> <laugh>, I
Speaker 0 00:39:27 Was searching. I was searching, okay.
Speaker 1 00:39:29 Which we all listen to aspects a <laugh> all day,
Speaker 0 00:39:33 What type of world would this be?
Speaker 1 00:39:35 It won't be nothing different world at all. Nothing
Speaker 0 00:39:38 Different. So the,
Speaker 1 00:39:39 And something that, something that, that, that just brought up for me. If, if everything was always good, if there was always sunshine, if there was always rainbows, if everything was always perfect, how would you even know how to appreciate or how to enjoy the good? Exactly. If you don't even know what bad is, right.
Speaker 0 00:39:59 If you touch a hot stove, how do you know you want it to be cool because you touched it. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you immediately know I want that stove. Cool. So that's contrast. Once I understood that, I was like, whoa. Because I was never taught this, I was always taught to fear contrast. Yeah. I was always taught that it was the end of the world. My life was over. Oh my god. You know, but that's, but once you flip that switch in your mind to see the truth of what it is, then your whole life changes. But going back to what I was saying is that, so that 90 10 rules, so we come here and so 90% of our day we wanna live in alignment and only 10% of our day in contrast. But we have flipped it. The average human be being lives 90% of their day in contrast and only 10% of their day in alignment. Yeah. So now you know that you just get, you just have to look at your day and you just have to start shifting the percentages. I remember when I started doing it, and I was like, Ooh, you know, I, today I was, instead of 10% of alignment, I 30. And I remember when I got to 50 50, so I was like, okay, half my day was, is in contrast. Half my day is in alignment. And then I was like, slow. And that's,
Speaker 1 00:41:14 And that's a big difference.
Speaker 0 00:41:15 It's huge. That's a big difference. Yeah. And then you slowly move it up to 90% of your day in alignment. That's the goal. And only 10% of your day in contrast. And that's it. So to answer your question, contrast is, is essential for us. You want it.
Speaker 1 00:41:31 So do you think that meditation is a good tool to kind of focus or, or learn these things or put them into action?
Speaker 0 00:41:40 Yeah. So when you're out of alignment, the most powerful, there are three powerful ways to get back in alignment. The first and the most powerful way is our rampage of appreciation.
Speaker 1 00:41:55 Oh, rampage
Speaker 0 00:41:56 Of appreciation, which we did this morning.
Speaker 1 00:41:58 We did. And I felt, I felt so good after it. Did you? I felt so good after it. And for, um, just, just a real quick snippet, uh, essentially for a, a set amount of time, you just pop off about everything you love and everything you appre you appreciate in that moment. Um, and I've done it a couple of times, um mm-hmm. <affirmative>, and it has always, always, always, I've left with a smile mm-hmm. <affirmative> and a new outlook on, on that moment, in that day mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Um, so I I really do appreciate that one. I, I can attest to it.
Speaker 0 00:42:31 Yeah. Because it's the momentum. If you hold a thought for 17 seconds or more, it attaches another thought, just like that thought to it. Oh, wow. So whether it's negative or positive. So it, and then if you hold it for 68 seconds, it's like trying to stop a car at the bottom of the hill. It just plows you over. Wow. Especially if it's negative. Yeah. So it's power in that, that's why rampage's appreciation is so important. And you can start off feeling like negatively, you know, their thoughts are negative, or you can have like a blah moment and then you do a rampage and you feel good. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> because it 17 seconds, 68 seconds, that building process starts happening. Wow. And so that's, that's why, that's why it happens. So that's the first most powerful way. The second one is meditation. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Because when you cease thought in meditation, the chatter in your mind
Speaker 1 00:43:31 Quiets, how do you turn it off? She don't ever stop <laugh>.
Speaker 0 00:43:35 I know. We're still practicing with that, aren't we? Oh,
Speaker 1 00:43:37 <laugh>. How do we do
Speaker 0 00:43:39 It? Yeah. So you just keep doing it. You keep practicing because practice makes perfect. You have to build the muscle. You've had many, many, many years of the chatter and the, the confusion and you know, what is it, you call it the, um, the distractions. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, because that's all the chatter is, is distractions. Right. In your mind. When you sleep at night and wake up in the morning, that's the best time to reach for a positive thought. That's how you change your life. The reason why people have, they have, um, cycles and things last for 10, 20, 30 years is because in the morning when they go to sleep, or I mean, sorry, in the night when they go to sleep and they wake up in the morning, they carry their thoughts from their yesterday into their today. And if you do that over a period of time, you, and especially if it's negative, you'll wake up depressed. Now
Speaker 1 00:44:34 You're stuck in it.
Speaker 0 00:44:35 Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So it's just about the caring of thoughts. You wake up the next mo morning and then you, you
Speaker 1 00:44:41 Know, should be like a reset button. It
Speaker 0 00:44:43 It, every day you have a reset button. Wow. Every day. And it's the easiest time to do it in the day is in the morning after you've quiet your thoughts at night, went to sleep, and then woke up. That's, that's the best ti the best time to do it. But going back to what I was saying, so meditation that's a, a form of it in a way. Cuz you quiet your thoughts, but you're awake. And then, um, when you come out of meditation, you feel your power, you feel your connection because meditation is connecting to your inner being, your guidance,
Speaker 1 00:45:15 Your higher self. Yeah. Right?
Speaker 0 00:45:17 Yep. Where all your answers lie, where all your, where all the truth is. And so, and the third, the third method is just take a nap. <laugh>. I
Speaker 1 00:45:25 Love it. That's my favorite part.
Speaker 0 00:45:28 If all elses fails, you just take a nap.
Speaker 1 00:45:30 That's beautiful. Yeah. And you know, that, that makes, that makes a lot of sense because listen, when I was in high school, <laugh>, I started my senior year, I started working full, uh, part-time job. I was on the sports teams. I was going to school all day. I had absolutely no time to myself, but every damn day I made sure I took a nap as soon as I got home. Yeah. And then I could continue to go. And that's the first time I ever got straight A's. So I was fully busy mm-hmm. <affirmative> and I would take a nap every day. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So I like that. Yeah. I need to start doing that more
Speaker 0 00:46:05 Actually. Yeah. A a nap. I, I literally have to force my, not force, but, you know, um, encourage my friends to take a nap because, you know, we go, go, go, but we think we're gonna miss out on something. And we don't realize that you take that 20 minute nap, just set a timer for 20, 30, 40 minutes and you wake up, you get much more accomplished than trying to like, sludge through it. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:46:28 I feel like it's kinda like a mini, a mini sleep through the night and wake up and reset. You can, you can have a, a, a shorter, a little nap reset. Yeah. Essentially. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Wow. I think, you know, we've learned some, some really great things today. Um, there is, I would say that this is probably the most important episode of my podcast, and this is the first one out the gate, <laugh>. Yay. Yay. But no, seriously, like thank you, thank you so much for joining me. I, I thought you would be the, the absolute perfect person mm-hmm. <affirmative> to have on this culture versus mental health journey at the Royalty room. Um, again, it's mental health awareness month. So I want to thank everybody for tuning in, and I do want to also offer the resources that I could find. Um, please, please, please never feel like you are alone.
Speaker 1 00:47:22 Whether it's friends, whether it's family, there are a number of resources you can text the lifelines, the crisis text lines. You can call and talk to certain people. Um, and you can also, of course practice the, the three, the three tips that we learned today from call a rampage of appreciation, meditation, and a beautiful, beautiful nap <laugh>. Um, so thank you for joining us on the Royalty Room and um, again, take care of your mental health. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, it is so imperative. Self-care. I think the most important part about self-care is mental health because mm-hmm. <affirmative>, if your mental's not right, how can you care for anything else about yourself. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, right? No.
Speaker 0 00:48:04 Right. They tell you who to put the mask on, on the airplane first.
Speaker 1 00:48:10 Oh, that is true. And I always wondered, I always wondered, you gotta situate yourself first before you can help anybody else. And that has been my longest life struggle. But I'm learning. Thanks Phil. And
Speaker 0 00:48:22 You're learning. Well, thank you. You're doing, you're doing good,
Speaker 1 00:48:25 <laugh>. Thank you guys. I just, I just had to do it. You have to, you know, it's just, you know, you need to
Speaker 0 00:48:31 Have every single guest do that. Ah, <laugh>. That's gonna be your thing. It is,
Speaker 1 00:48:36 It is my thing. Anybody, anybody who knows me, legal Queen La we gonna get a little off on our, um, adventures. But thank you again. Legal Queen la This is the Royalty Room. Make sure you like, comment, subscribe at Legal Queen La on all platforms. That's how you find the YouTube, that's how you find the Instagram. And I am Kelly on Instagram. Uh, and we will be back every single Monday. Every other, I, I take that back every other Monday. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> May 1st, and then two Mondays from now, we're gonna have episode two. And I know you don't wanna miss it. Let us know what you wanna hear about and we'll see you next time.
