Episode Transcript
00:00:03 Hey, everybody, it's Legal Queen LA. I am back again for episode number three. Thank you if you've made it this far, I know that we have talked about so many different things, um, from mental health to meditation, to rappers, to female rappers, to movies, to reality tv. But I realize you guys didn't really, unless you've been following me, and I love my, my followers and my supporters and my fans, um, but I realized for those who maybe are just tuning in, I never told you about me. So, today we're gonna talk about me versus me in our last episode of Mental Health Month, um, is something that I have been going back and forth on speaking about. I thought about, you know, making a reel on Instagram. I thought about not saying anything at all. I thought about saving things for when I do my big public speaking engagements, but why not start today?
00:01:02 Um, I want to kind of give you guys a little bit of who I am, who is legal Queen La or Ashley Valenzuela, or Tori Skye or whoever you know me as, um, and kind of just give you the real raw of why I do what I do, how I got to be where I am, and of course, bringing in with some statistics and some important news. So, um, taking it from the top, I am from a very, very, very, very, very small town in the south of Pittsburgh, halfway between Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and Morgantown, West Virginia. Um, it is not a nice place, and I have been running from it for a while. Um, but at one point it was the only place I ever wanted to be. Um, my family's from there. My sister grew up there. Um, all my cousins, all my friends, and I just wanted, I spent my entire childhood wanting to be there because it was kind of a free for all, no rules, no limits to what you could get into.
00:02:13 And once I realized that there was nothing good to come from there, um, I started running and I didn't want to go back. Uh, a lot of childhood trauma. Um, I am the child of two teenage parents. My parents had me when they were 16 years old, which is the general culture of the town. And my mother, unfortunately, got caught up in what she was doing and was in prison for five years of my childhood. So I never actually thought about that. Um, people talk about, you know, being a child of incarcerated parents all the time, and I never put myself in that box. I, I guess it kind of went over my head a little bit. Um, and my focus in life and, and in research has been with children in the foster care system, but I never really actually took the time to realize like, hey, um, my parent was incarcerated.
00:03:11 And the statistics and, and the things that can come from those situations are, are very, um, grim. And everybody kind of expected, you know, me to be a teenage parent, me to be a high school dropout, me to not go to college or law school. Um, you know, all these different things. And I was speaking with my dad recently and he's like, I, you know, I just want you to be successful. That's the only thing I want from you. And I was like, well, if y'all look where we come from, I think I've already made it. Um, and that's easy to say because, you know, living in an l la in and of itself is a challenge and a journey. And I think they say, you know, most people leave within the first two years because it's so difficult to kind of, uh, make those adjustments in LA with the cost of living with the people, with the, the things to get into.
00:04:08 Um, it will kind of eat you up and spit you out. So, um, I do want to acknowledge that the entertainment industry in LA as a whole is very difficult. And if you are here and you are paying your rent, and you are making it every day and waking up and going to work, or going to shoot or whatever you came here to do, because it takes a special type of person to wanna come to LA and it takes an even more, uh, special type of person to stay here. So whoever's doing that, you're doing great. And it doesn't matter what the next person is doing because comparison will kill you. Um, so childhood baby Steph. Um, I moved to Florida, um, when I was getting ready to go to middle school, and my sister and my mom and everybody else was still in Pennsylvania.
00:04:59 And that was kind of a, a rough transition for me. I wanted to stay where I was. I wanted to always go back, and it was just a constant struggle between myself and my father and my grandmother. It was just really hard to go to a different school every school year. I think by sixth grade I went to 10 different elementary schools. Um, and in one of the, the child development classes that I took, it shows that in every move that a child makes in K through 12, they lose about six months of their progress. And so in, in my siblings and in my, my children in the future, I wanna make sure that that is something that doesn't happen, because it did, it did have an effect on me. You know, I went to all those elementary schools, I went to two different middle schools.
00:05:52 I went to two different high schools. Um, so the shuffling around, um, stability is very important. Um, and I, that is something that from childhood that I do wish that I had a little bit more of. But, you know, again, we made it just fine. But, uh, one of the biggest reasons why I started wanting to speak out and write a book and do podcasts and, and help people is because once you get to high school, whether you're a boy, girl, gay, straight, black, brown, white, Asian, whatever it is, high school is a really hard place to be. Um, and so in writing my book, which will be coming out at its time, TV a because, uh, the most important chapters got deleted out of the cloud, um, save everything to the cloud, but I mean, save it somewhere else too, because if not, you're gonna be write, rewriting your book like me.
00:06:53 So, um, anyways, the book is The demographic is anybody from age 12 to 24. And I say that specifically because starting probably around the end of middle school, all the way up through college is probably the toughest time because you, you don't know who you are, you don't know what you want to do. And everybody keeps asking you, what do you wanna do? What do you wanna be, where do you wanna go? And nine times outta 10, you have no idea. And it's kind of shifted and shaped by your appearance. Um, for example, I just found out that my dad used to wanna be a lawyer, and here I am, legal Queen Laing. Um, and I, I had no idea. But it's, it's interesting because once you're in high school, things seem like the end of the world. And when you are 16 or 18, or whatever it may be, it, it is the end of the world when things come crashing down.
00:07:57 You know, maybe you ran away from home because you're getting, uh, abused by your parents, or maybe you don't have lunch money, or maybe, you know, you're, you're struggling with your identity if you're, if you're gay or if you're straight or, um, you know, you don't have clothes to wear, whatever it may be, kids are really mean. And the struggle with, with bullying has kind of, um, ma been magnified by social media. And honestly, if I was in high school today in 2023 with Instagrams and Twitters and everything else, I don't know that I would have survived. Um, you know, I, I did have my first bout of, of suicidal ideation when I was in high school. And it, it stemmed a lot from, yes, the divide between my, my family being in Pennsylvania and me being in Florida and kind of living two separate lives between the two, but also from high school.
00:08:58 Um, I was bullied. Maybe I also bullied, but I was bullied constantly for being fat, for being ahoe, for being, you know, whatever it may be. Um, I remembered this one, this one time. This girl drew on one of the poles outside of the cafeteria. It was a stick figure of me. I wish I could put it right here. It's a stick figure of me. But it had a big circle in the mirror, and it said Ashlee, cuz I guess I was just, I was just overweight, I'm sorry. Um, but I mean, hey, how you doing? I'll see y'all at the reunion. Our high school has still not had a reunion because, um, I don't know, hopefully by 2027, cuz we passed 10 years, as hard as that is to think about. Um, but I say all that to say, it does get better if you don't let it consume you.
00:10:04 And that's really obviously hard to teach to, um, a younger generation. And I'm just now learning as if you saw episode one. Uh, Ms. Calla taught us about mind editing and mindsets and everything is kind of internal and it does start and end with you. Um, one of my mentors told me, you are the center of your universe. And I thought that, you know, oh, that's a really nice thing to say. No, it's absolutely true. You are the center of your universe. You are the only thing that matters. At the end of the day, if it doesn't feel good to you, don't do it. If it doesn't, you know, resonate with you, don't worry about it. Um, and whatever someone has to say, whether it's nasty, whether it's you know, offensive, whatever it is, it has nothing to do with you. Um, and if the only thing you could say about me is that I'm fat, or the only thing that you can say about me is that, um, whatever.
00:11:07 Great, great. I love to hear it. I love to see it. Congratulations. Um, you can't fix a a mean evil heart. And I think that that's, that's probably one of the things that you have to realize because everybody's trying to compare what they look like to everybody else and what, what they dress like and what car they have and what, what shoes they're wearing, you know? Um, but it doesn't matter because your, your face and your hair and your shoes aren't gonna get you into heaven. They're not gonna get you into the college you want to go to. They're not gonna get you, you know, well, maybe they'll get you the job you want. I don't know what job you want, but it, at the end of the day, it really is about how you treat people. Love, love thy neighbors as you love yourself.
00:12:04 And so, with that being said, I think the first step is loving yourself. And that's a really, really hard thing to do. And it does take practice, and it does take time, and it does take patience. Um, but you have to be easy with yourself because the world is going to beat you down in some way, somehow no matter who you are. Um, so you have to be kind of, you have to be kind to yourself and treat yourself as you would want to be treated by someone else or how you do treat other people. And that's one of my biggest struggles is I treat everybody else great, and I take care of everybody else, and I wanna fix problems for everybody else, and I wanna give advice to everybody else, and I wanna take on the weight of the world and I wanna save the world.
00:12:48 But then I look at me and I'm pouring from an empty cup. Um, as Pastor TD Jakes has said, um, pouring from an empty cup is not gonna do nothing for you, and it's not gonna do nothing for me, but make the situations for myself a little bit more extenuating. Um, but the, the moral of this story is that, um, I wanted to share my story in hopes that it could, it could and would help someone else in, in whatever way. Um, however longest episode ends up being, um, maybe you can take something and, and run with it and maybe it'll, it'll help you in everything that you're dealing with, but
Speaker 1 00:13:38 Your producer wants to step in for a second.
00:13:40 Yes. Producer Solomon. Hello, please.
Speaker 1 00:13:42 Hello. Well, I have a question for you because you're talking about, you know, when we talked about this episode, you said you wanted to get into telling people where you were from. And I think your story itself can be inspiring in addition to your past. So what I'd like to know is, um, being an attorney is not an easy road, right? Uh, it's something you decided to do at some point on your own. So what gave you, or what, what helped you make that decision? Uh, what are some of the things you did to, um, you know, move forward with that decision? And then how did you end up picking entertainment law?
00:14:18 Thank you. Um, that is the perfect segue. Um, going back to high school and going back to my dad, I remember I was in the 11th grade and all my life I wanted to be a teacher and work with kids and, and help kids and, you know, just do that. And, and I was in early childhood education classes, and that was just my route. And he sat me down one day and he said, you are not going to be a teacher. Figure something else out. And I was like, what do you mean, figure something else out? So whenever the next like round of classes for the next semester came out, we were fortunate enough we had law classes and forensics classes. I was already in debate. I was on the debate team. So I picked up those classes and I kind of decided, you know, I could help kids in law.
00:15:05 And back then, naively I thought that family law was a perfect way to do that. Which no, no, no. Family law is a dangerous game. It's, it is parent versus parent, children are pawns. Um, I bless the, bless the hearts of everybody who does practice family law. It is, it is a dangerous game. But I, I thought that, that that's where I would wanna start. So I kind of hit the ground running on the law route. I went to the Florida State University and there was no pre-law. So I, I studied criminology and I studied psychology. And I, I really actually, like, I love, I love, love, love, love, love, psychology, child development, family dysfunction, child psychology. Um, that is something I could see myself, you know, continuing to study forever. But, um, in the last year of college, before I decided that I even wanted to continue to pursue law school, I had a very, very, very extreme tragedy.
00:16:15 Um, our whole town, honestly, my very first love, Nicholas Landman, uh, passed away. And he was 19 years old. And, um, a he was stubborn. He was a football player, he was silly, he was goofy, he was perfect. Uh, but he didn't listen to nobody. And in the middle of the snow, he wanted to take this cute little mustang back to college instead of the Jeep. And, um, he wanted to fix something up before class. And, um, everybody else went to go eat. And while he was fixing his car, he jacked up the car and, um, the jack slipped and the car fell on him. And by the time everybody got back, he was still under the car and he was life flighted. And he ended up passing away. He was born on March 24th, and, uh, his football number was 24, and he ended up passing away on November 24th, 2014.
00:17:26 Um, they used to call him Superman, and I know he is Superman because when he passed away, he saved nine children's lives with his organs. Um, but as you can imagine, at 20 years old, that was the most absolutely devastating circumstance I could possibly imagine. And I wanted to again, um, not continue to live. And I remember this is when I was introduced to therapy. I was walking on campus at Florida State and this beautiful, beautiful, beautiful angel I'll never forget. Um, she came up to me, she's like, oh my God, are you okay? Where are you going? Um, can I help? Can I help you walk to your car? And instead of helping me walk to my car, she walked me to the guidance council center on campus. And that was the first time I had ever been introduced to therapy. And I truly believed that she saved my life that day.
00:18:27 And therapy did save my life because I, I, you can imagine, um, I, I, I didn't wanna keep going. I, I didn't, but I hadn't made promises to him. When we were together, you know, I was gonna be a lawyer, I was gonna move to California, we were gonna move to California. I was gonna be this big great lawyer and, and, you know, do this life thing. So I had to keep my promises to him. And I graduated that next semester, and I got this job as a paralegal, and I decided to take a year off to solidify, do I really want to go to law school or do I want to do something else? And, um, you know, I took the LSAT and everything, but I decided to take the position and everybody thought, oh, she's never gonna go back to school. She's just, when you take a year off, it's just over.
00:19:22 Don't do that, baby. Um, so I went and I was a paralegal at the best law firm in Tallahassee, I believe it's called Le Leaving Haute Hesser now. But the law office of Matt LeBeau was my legal humble beginnings. And he taught me how to be a person of integrity. And he taught me how to be a, um, paralegal and an intern and an employee, and a supervisor and a manager. Um, it was, it was the best experience. But at the end of a year of signing his name at the bottom of my work as a paralegal, I was like, oh, yep, we're gonna law school. We're gonna law school. And I'll never forget, he told me, he was like, you know, you are amazing at what you do. You're great at managing, you manage people well, you manage the office well, you manage da da da, da da.
00:20:14 But I don't really know how much he liked the law aspect. And I was like, Hmm, we'll see. So I, I retook the lsat, I reapplied the, the, the next year I ended up getting better scholarships. And I ended up going to, um, law school in Tampa, Florida at Stetson. And, um, that was in 2016 when I started. And so the first semester was the craziest experience in the world. Everything I learned about studying, everything I learned about school, everything I learned about life, it was just all out the window. Um, and so I kind of wanna get into the, the statistics that I had to go over because, um, law school is really difficult. And, um, I did a presentation at one of the law schools out here in la well in Orange County, uh, within the last couple of months. And I shared my law school journey with them.
00:21:19 And the feedback that I got was, I, I didn't expect it because one, I never had shared that story before. And two, it helped almost everybody in the room. So, um, it's very important for me as a, as an attorney, as a young woman, as a business person, as a, as just a human in general, to mentor, because Mr. Matt LeBeau was an amazing mentor. And I had some amazing mentors when I got to LA as well. Um, and when I was in law school. And I think that that is the most important thing that I could be doing with my career and with my knowledge, is to mentor. So, um, I, I make it a huge point to do that in my, in my law firm, uh, with my interns. And when I speak with law students, um, you know, in a public setting or private, I think that's the most important thing that I can offer and pay forward.
00:22:15 Um, but with that being said, like you said, Solomon, it is a very, very tough road. And, um, the a b a posted a study by the Dave Ne Foundation, and apparently American lawyers rank fifth occupationally in incidents of suicide. Lawyers are the most frequently depressed occupational group in the United States, and are 3.6 times more likely to suffer from depression than non-lawyers. 40% of law students are depressed. 96% of law students face significant stress compared to 70% of med students and 43% of grad students, 42% of law students felt that they needed mental health counseling, but only half soughted out. We'll touch on that. Um, nearly 27% of law students are at risk. Were at risk for alcoholism. 11% of law students reported suicidal ideations and 20 to 40% have a psychological dysfunction after law school.
00:23:28 Woo, those numbers are alarming, but they make a lot of sense. Um, so in being a lawyer, you have a lot of requirements that a lot of other occupations do not. Um, we have a, a class that we're required to take called professional responsibility. And I will never forget, they uh, had a chart of a bunch of different individuals and the things that they had done, whether it was a huge amount of credit card debt, um, they were in the pornography industry, they were, you know, they had x amount of car accidents or car, car, uh, traffic tickets, et cetera. And it told us, you know, the, the entrance rate or if they were accepted for admission to the, the bar exam, let alone receiving their bar license. And the requirements for the bar application where I was in Florida, you have to start applying in your first year for the Florida bar in California.
00:24:31 On the other hand, you apply, you know, a couple of months before you take the exam. So in my journey in applying for the Florida bar, cuz cuz I thought I was gonna stay in Florida forever, and it was also required, um, they need to know everything. Your, uh, mental health history, your physical health history, your traffic tickets, all of the addresses you've ever lived at, um, you know, whether, whether you are born wherever, everything about you, they need to know your credit history, your your driving records, everything. And if you have a mental health issue, if you have depression, if you have bipolar, if you have schizophrenia, it is a nightmare. You are going to be jumping through hoops. You're going to spend thousands of dollars, you're going to have to get right off, uh, from psychiatrists. You're going to have to get monitored.
00:25:31 Um, if you have to get monitored, it's like a hundred dollars a month or something for them to monitor your progress to see if you're fit as an attorney. And all of these things happen. And while you're in law school, you wanna go see a counselor. You, you, if you, if you're lucky to have one on campus, you wanna go talk to them. But guess what? The bar reaches out to all of your mental health providers. The bar reaches out to everybody that you've referenced that you've worked for, that you've known. So if you're speaking to your school counselor about these traumatic events that you've been through, they're liable to tell the Florida bar or the, the Virginia Bar, whatever bar it may be, whether or not they think that's you're fit to practice law after you've been in law school for three years or two years or however long.
00:26:28 And I can only imagine why half of the students who are facing crisis don't reach out to a mental health provider. Because if it's gonna jeopardize my career, well, of course I'm not gonna tell you about it. You know, I'd, a lot of people would say, you know, I'd rather just get through it. I'd rather just, you know, I want to be very careful with my words here, but like, I, I've heard people say, I'd, I'd rather not live than, you know, have to tell these people the things that I actually experience. And that, that is very unfortunate because you just heard the statistics. I think law students, not above everybody else, but law students specifically really need counseling. Really need an outlet. Really need, you know, you have physical fitness all day and all night. There's gyms on campus, there's gyms in your apartment, whatever.
00:27:23 But what about mental fitness? Because that's a journey and that's something that you have to work at every day, just like your diet, just like your workout, just like you're studying. If your mental is not, well, what can you do you if you can't function? Um, so with that being said, in my first year of law school, I had an interesting time adjusting to how to do law school in, um, each semester right before maybe like two weeks before finals classes are over and it's called reading period. So you go in a reading period and you just study, study, study, you get to your finals, then you get to, you know, go on Christmas or summer break. So first semester reading period comes around and I found myself in the library studying for anywhere between 12 and 16 hours a day. And you know, it's, I wish I could have brought like my actual lost law books today because I still have like the tabs, there's like 600 tabs, there's 5,000 highlights, there's notes on every page.
00:28:31 It's like, it's, it's a job, you know, 10 hours a day for seven days a week, that's already 70 hours. And we're studying for these exams. And it is, it is tough. I personally am very good at school. Um, it's something that I enjoy. Uh, I used to make fun of myself cuz it, if you could do it, you know, it takes away the fun for anyone else. And, um, I used to say my sister dances, my cousin sings and I read books, but no, like, that's actually what I'm good at. So, um, even though it was a hard transition, because in high school and college I didn't really study. I would just take notes and, and take in the, the lectures, et cetera. But I had to really transition into forcing myself to study in this way and very extensively. And that semester I was the top 20% of my class.
00:29:21 I was on the dean's list. It was amazing. I didn't think it was possible because, um, and this is another thing, if you're not rich and white law school's a really hard place to be. Um, I spent the entire first semester in addition to trying to figure out the studies and all of that, um, I spent the first semester trying to fit in, oh, I can't get my nails done anymore. I have to like this type of guy. I have to be more reserved. I can't go out, I can't drink. I, I have to, you know, be prim and proper and sit in the corner and not say anything. Well, that's never gonna be me. So that's another reason why I have the, I've created this brand for myself because I'm gonna get my nails done and I'm gonna do my hair. I'm gonna have this, you know, two piece on I'm going to wear pink.
00:30:18 And I think that that is something that I am very well entitled to do after spending six figures on the piece of paper that hangs up in my office, uh, that's, that's the least that I can do for myself, you know? And that was something that I really struggled with being, um, a woman and being, uh, Latina and being young. I remember my, my professor in, um, in college when I was graduating so early, cuz I graduated college when I was 20 and I was gonna go straight into law school. He's like, well, who's gonna wanna hire a lawyer who's 23?
00:30:57 You might have a point, but like, that was rude. But, you know, I took a year off and okay, I was a lawyer at 24. Great. You know, what's the difference? But, um, young brown woman lawyer, the general population of lawyers is old white men. So there's a lot already against me. And I, I focused a lot on trying to conform in my first semester. And that may have worked for a little while, but you can only mask who you are. You can only hide who you are for such a short amount of time before like you break out of your shell. Um, and I, I, I'm a little bit too much to be contained into this, this small little box. Um, so first semester we did, we did, we did great, et cetera, et cetera. Second semester, I almost withdrew from law school and yes, Solomon, I'm going to get to your other question, why entertainment law?
00:32:02 Because that is the slurring of his house. But like I said, first semester's great second semester, um, my ex who passed away, his father passed away and I went back to my hometown, the same church, same funeral home, went to his house for the first time since he had passed away. And for the three years in between or two and a half years in between, I kind of pushed it off as like, oh, he's just away at college. Like, you know, he's not dead. What? No. And so I went to his house for the first time since we were together and it kind of hit me like a ton of bricks. Um, it was the absolute worst bout of depression that I could have imagined. Um, I came back to Florida, I was supposed to go back to, you know, school and live this, this life and pick back up where I was, but I couldn't.
00:33:01 And the counselor at my school was out of town. Who do, who do you talk to when your only counselor is out of town? Had a terrible experience. I found a therapist that, that took my insurance. Terrible experience. Um, so I went to my primary care doctor and she was like, Y you really need some help like this. You're not well, like, I think you need to go to the hospital. And I went to the hospital and the only outcome was, you're gonna need to withdraw from law school. And I'm just sitting here like, who not me. You not gonna ruin my career over, over a bad day in a bad, in a bad life, in a bad situation? No, absolutely not. So I left from there going about my days, um, domino effect. On top of that, I let someone, uh, move in as a roommate and they had someone at my house.
00:34:15 And unfortunately I was sexually assaulted in my home, um, almost like directly after the funeral and all of that crisis. And the boy I was dating at the time, come to find out he got someone pregnant and then come to find out he got someone else pregnant all within the same month. Yeah, I'm probably not gonna be okay up here. And I had no one to talk to. And my parents at the time didn't even believe that mental health was a real thing. So, and then you add all that on top of the law school.
00:34:56 I, I don't even know what to say right now. I can't even imagine. I can imagine because I went through it, but like sitting here right now, I can't even think back to how devastating that time was in my life. And I still had to go get ready for finals. So, um, even though they wanted me to withdraw from law school, you can't do this. You can't do this, you can't do this. You're not gonna tell me what I can't do because I'm really that girl and I'm, if I say I'm gonna do something, one thing about me that anybody who knows me knows if I say I'm gonna do it, it's gonna get done whether I have to die to get it done or not, not. So I went back to school, I went to take my finals. I did terrible, I did so bad.
00:35:46 I ended up, you know, straight first I started at the top percent of my class. I went straight to the bottom percent of my class. And you know, I spent the next two years getting my GPA back up above a 3.0 because I was not going to let anybody, you know, make me leave the law school that I was fighting so hard to be, to conform to and to be accepted in and, and do the, the mock trials and do the, the, the electives and figure out what I wanted to do. And I wanted to help kids so bad. And that is exactly what, like, I was just, I was just set on the goal. No matter what it took, I was going to overcome this stuff and I was gonna do it. One because I said I was gonna do it. Two, I promised my Nicholas that I was gonna do it.
00:36:41 Three, my daddy would beat my behind if I didn't do it. So this is a lot riding on me already being, you know, all the way through my first year. So, um, in my, at the end of my second year, I was doing, um, I was an intern at, in a criminal law firm. And I found out I definitely didn't wanna do criminal law either. I still wanted to work with the kids, but I had actually been granted custody of my baby sister temporarily. And my baby brother was just born. So I kind of, I was going to law school full-time. I was doing the internship and now I had a child and it was amazing because I was the best that I ever could have been because I had her to wake up to and wake up for every day. And I say it all the time, you know, they're the best things that ever happened to me because I don't know that I would be alive without them because they, whether they're your kids or not, they give you a reason to have to wake up in the morning.
00:37:50 And I would wake up, we would make breakfast, we would go to school, we would, I would pick her up after, uh, her daycare and if I didn't have class, she would be super pissed off cuz she always wanted to go to class with me. And she would set up her book just like it was a little laptop. She would raise her hands and talk to the teachers, like as if she was in school and she was only four. And if she didn't have class, she would cry. It was like, it was as stressful as it was, it was like, it was exactly what I needed. It was, it was so good for the both of us. Um, but at that same time, my other sister, Nina, the ballerina who is here on episode two, she moved to Los Angeles to start her performing arts career, um, at that same time.
00:38:36 And as soon as she jumped off the plane, Los Angeles tried to eat her up. They wanted to screw her over. As soon as she got off the plane, they didn't wanna pay her. They didn't wanna give her her, you know, food on set, you know, you could keep the clothes, we're not gonna give you money. And it was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, gimme their number. So I'm in this, this criminal law firm and my boss, Steve Maltis, who's super great, uh, he was always supportive and he was just like, yeah, you're the best big sister ever. You get 'em, you can send him a letter, you know, we'll send him a letter together. And so I was just like, man, LA is ruthless. I need to, I need to help her. She's a kid that needs help.
00:39:20 You know, I, I think, um, I also started going to a lot more concerts and a lot more music festivals and getting more involved in the music industry, which music was also one of my very first loves. Um, my grandfather's in a rock band. My dad does, uh, my mom is a hip hop junkie. You know, we got all the avenues. Um, but I started to kind of shift my long-term goals because of how traumatic child advocacy can be. And I knew at the time with everything going on in my family personally, um, and the way that I grew up and things going on with my mother and with the kids, and I, I knew that I wasn't healed enough to go into child advocacy at the time. So I figured why don't I shift focus to something I really love, really entertains me, I'm really passionate about because kids or whoever just gets to LA no matter what age, they really need somebody to help them.
00:40:32 They need a voice, um, to navigate the industry. They need help. So it was, it was, like I said, she sprinkled the la dust on me and I started to immediately rate. Then in my third year of law school, I transitioned all of my studies to the California bar and um, bar study studying for the bar exam, I'm telling you is absolutely no joke. Um, I graduated law school in Florida and the first time I ever saw California law was when I graduated law school in Florida. And so for three months, what you have to do from May to the last days of July, you study anywhere from eight to 10 hours a day. Monday through Saturday. So about 80 hours a week for three months.
00:41:28 That, that was a very tough time. I actually, um, I actually died that summer. I passed out and no heartbeat, no, like still to this day, you know, maybe I was just stressed, maybe I was just dehydrated. I don't know what it is. But I definitely died and saw the light and came back. I'm like, yep, time to go. We gotta get this done. All right, what's next? And um, I finished out the next couple of weeks of studying and then I flew to California, went to bed, woke up in the morning, took eight hours of the exam, went back to the hotel, had one drink, went to bed, woke up, took eight hours of the exam, and then drove to the airport and got on a flight to Barbados for crop over. See ya, I'm going to celebrate. Um, but that probably wasn't the best idea either because after 80 hours a week for three months of studying and then a 16 hour exam, going to party with people who've been partying for carnival in Barbados for the last 20 to 30 years.
00:42:32 But I was not ready for that either. But, um, I say all that to say that is how I got here. And bar study suicide rates are also out of control. Um, which probably culminate from the, the pressure of passing the bar. One, the pressure of getting admitted to even take the exam, um, getting admitted for your moral and character and fitness, um, which is all of those other things like the mental health and, and your previous references, your employment, your driving record, all of that. Um, and then also all of the stress from law school. All, you know, am I gonna have a job after this? How long it takes? Cuz there's actually, whenever you take the bar exam, no matter who you are, where you are, there's only two times to take it. You take it in February or you take it in July.
00:43:30 And if you want to, um, take it in July, in Florida for example, you get your results back in September. So you know, if you're a lawyer or not, you get your job, whatever, whatever. Well, in California you don't get your results until November. So a lot of the stress also comes from what am I going to do from May when I graduate law school to November when I know if I even have a career? And that, that is a very hard struggle in and of itself. And, um, you know, there are bar study loans. There are, you know, a lot of firms will hire you pending your, um, your admission to the bar. So you can start working, you know, as, as a, as a lawyer because when you graduate law school, you get your jd, your juris jurist doctor and you become a lawyer, but you don't become an attorney or an Esquire until you pass the bar, which a lot of people also don't know is a metaphor for the actual, uh, bar door that you push open to go into the courtroom, up to the judge.
00:44:35 So a little bit of a of fun lawyer fact. Um, I am an attorney, I'm an entertainment attorney, and I've had an immense journey to getting here and I hope that some of this story has kind of, um, maybe resonated with you. And I hope that you've learned a little bit about me and I would love to hear your thoughts, your questions, your concerns. Um, questions for anybody who wants to be in law school. Questions for anybody who wants to be in entertainment. Um, I, like I said, mentoring is my biggest thing. So, um, through this, this podcast and this show in the royalty room, we're gonna talk about many, many, many different things. Um, but this is going to be our last episode for the amazing, amazing opportunity of speaking for mental health Awareness month. Um, that is every may we have a lot of work to be doing in the mental health space and, um, especially in the legal community, especially in the entertainment industry. Um, so we have a lot of work to be done, but I think that this is a really good place to start. So I'm happy to be here. Legal Queen la. Um, thanks for getting to know me. And I will be here again in two weeks from today. Make sure you like and subscribe. Let me know in the comments what you think. And we will be here at the royalty room for all the tea!
